That seems a bit hard on the dudes.
Itâs kinda exhausting seeing progressive language constantly used to rag on men. I want men to be anti-racist / feminist / LGBT allies / etc. I get that there are a lot of problems with many streams of masculinity and people who have been hurt by those have a right to complain, but goddamn. I would not expect lots of women to be attracted to a movement that constantly complains about women.
Thatâs why a lot of people oppose third wave feminism. It stop being about uplifting women and about pushing men down to achieve the goals. It forgot that the original goal was to raise the standards for everyone to equality.
A lot of males face issues that women face as well. But when thereâs a portion of people basically saying youâre scum for being born a man⌠Itâs very tiring and eventually it starts to feel like âwell if you donât care about me, why should I keep caring about you?â
when thereâs a portion of people basically saying youâre scum for being born a man
There is no way of changing these peopleâs minds, they invariably tend to be zero-sum absolutionists. Any attempt to prove them otherwise will only trigger their victimization complexes.
The only effective strategy is to not engage in the first place, to avoid having anything to do with them even if they are blood and especially if they can be easily avoided.
Unfortunately, this attitude is also held by the vast majority of vocal feminists⌠which, if you are actively dating, ought to make this one of the first red flags you should be looking for to make women self-select themselves out of contention.
After all, you donât want to be with someone who hates you for what you are. Leave those venomous vipers on the branch, where they belong.
And yes, this entire strategy works equally as well in the other direction, for women. The difference is that women are far more effectively avoiding men with these red flags than men are at avoiding women with these red flags. Far too many men are far too thirsty to think straight where women are concerned.
youâre scum for being born a man
No people in the real world say this. This is something that exists purely in social media and the anonymous Internet.
This whole thread seems filled with people who view men as victims of something. They arenât.
A man can be a victim, sure.
Men, as a group, are not general victims of anything they didnât choose.
I hate that Iâm the second, and so aggressively that itâs hurt relationships before
if i tried to comfort you about it, though, wouldnât that just perpetuate and enable the problem?
âŚactually no, i canât even joke about it. Iâm sorry people left you feeling emotionally abandoned, bro. Itâs not fair that you get put under this double standard. The fact is, everyone needs emotional labor. Another word for emotional labor is goddamn fucking empathy and SOME PEOPLE donât want to show any toward men.
THOSE people donât matter. The kind of woman who would look at you as a burden would, in fact, be a burden upon you.
You are worthy of love. You are worth the investment of psychological and emotional energy. You have value even above and beyond intrinsic value as a human being. And if you were here, Iâd be taking us both out for tacos and/or ice cream right goddamn now.
Another word for emotional labor is goddamn fucking empathy and SOME PEOPLE donât want to show any toward men.
The very people screaming the loudest about âtoxic masculinityâ being a problem in men, are invariably the ones imposing it the most fiercely upon men, as this woman is doing.
Eh, the Twitter person can go fuck themselves. Both partners deserve emotional support and comfort. Thatâs what being in a partnership is about. Just because men are pigeonholed by toxic masculinity doesnât mean we donât need emotional validation.
Itâs normal to be the second. Everyone has emotions. If your partner/ex canât handle that, tell them to go date an AI robot.
This isnât about showing emotion or empathy. The point is about a partner who expects you to handle their emotions for you. Examples how that looks in a relationship:
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Passive aggressiveness: sabotaging the relationship without wanting to openly talk about issues.
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Dishonest communication that leads to resentment: For example pretending you are fine when you are hurting.
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Using your partner as a therapist: with issues like depression, expecting your partner to elevate your symptoms.
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Unloading all social and relationship responsibilities onto your partner.
Itâs in general the expectation that your partner somehow makes life work for you. Itâs not about sharing emotions or caring for each other.
Girl, if this is the way you view the dating pool, then maybe MGTOW has a valid point or three to consider.
I may have stepped off the dating field nearly thirty years ago, but in terms of the gratuitous misandry that I have seen as of the last decade or so, even if I were to become widowed I doubt I would ever want to step back onto it. The juice is just not worth the squeeze if I am seen as âthe enemyâ and facing unjustified hostility and adversarial arrogance long before you even get to know me.
Truth is the second option one is just a normal ass guy. Everyone has emotions and needs. The fact is itâs still taboo to be a âmanâ and have emotions.
Like honestly tell me any other option on there is preferable to someone with emotions⌠She acting like women donât require the same thing? Gtfoh. Itâs not even a bad thing. Itâs just a human thing.
one of the main points and benefits of a relationship is being able to share problems with someone else and have someone that could cheer you up or to share excitement with
âemotional laborâ is for actual jobs, especially customer service type jobs
What sheâs referring to isnât the same as having emotions. She means the people who expect everyone around them, especially their romantic partner, to manage their emotions for them. Plenty of women do it, too.
I donât know anyone like that. I do know we are plenty of people who are drama queens.
But thatâs not really the same thing as having emotions people with functional emotions are actually fine, itâs the ones that donât have emotions but do have an awful lot of opinions that are the problem.
This is not about having emotions or talk about them. Itâs about expecting your partner to navigate your emotions for you. If you donât know what emotional labour is, you probably were lucky enough to never have to be in a relationship with someone who expects that from you.
Sheâs referring to overly emotional men, who need extra attention; guys who canât handle failure or rejection, who have a bad day at work and then canât help around the house at all at night and who expect their partner to take care of them, regardless of how their partnerâs day went. I know the type of dude sheâs talking about and I wouldnât want my daughter to bring one home. Dude needs a mother not a partner.
Nope this is a list of all the men available, like she said. Sheâs painting all emotional men with the same brush. There are good men and bad men in each of those categories she listed, but she thinks weâre all bad.
So I cry and need a hug sometimes? Emotional labor. I can describe the full range of emotions I feel to a partner and deal with them in a healthy way? Gross.
You have a victim mentality. You are looking for this stuff and youâre finding it. The post does not say that.
âAs we seek so shall we find.â
What are âemotionally distant manipulators?â Some sort of emotionless man that tricks women into sex? Is that not the same as the sociopath?
Pretty sure that means people who pretend to be emotionally involved with you but they actually are not. For example someone who says they are in love with you, but they actually just want any partner for sex or a superficial relationship.
These partners tend to postpone consequential decisions like whether or not to move in together, or family planning, etc. with excuses. They do not care their partner looses time waiting for them on a decision they donât really intend to make.