I’ve had it up to here with people saying JD Vance had sex with a couch. How many times do I have to say there’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch before people stop saying JD Vance had sex with a couch? Liberals must be pretty desperate to make up that JD Vance had sex with a couch. The story that on March 17, 2011 JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after so thoroughly deflowering a KIVIK Sofa Chaise that it had to be removed as a biohazard due to the various fluids in and around it, causing the night manager to not only quit but need intensive therapy is beyond the pale. Who would believe this? There is sworn. court. testimony. that JD Vance has not made bare skin contact with a couch within the past 5 years. That’s a fact. Look it up. The idea that this is because JD Vance cannot contain his overwhelming sexual urges in the presence of soft furniture is reckless conjecture. Calling JD Vance a couchfucker is slander and you need to take it back.
The Left™ will do anything to avoid talking about the real issues in this campaign, like the fact that Kamala Harris laughs sometimes.
It’s funny you say that. However it’s a Fox News person that’s asking for this.
JD Vance is too much of a coward to release the couch sex tape
#releasethecouchtape
Why are they not releasing the couch sex tape? What are they hiding? Was there a loveseat involved?
There’s a lot to unpack in that statement:
“We don’t buy the hoaxes and believe the hype anymore,” he continued.
Yeah, Fox sells them, not buys them. Get your facts straight.
“Our eyes are wide open.
Uh-oh. That sounds pretty woke to me.
And if you’re gonna accuse someone of having sex with a couch, you better have video.” He then brought on a guest to discuss whether Harris has a chance at winning the election in November without further explaining his request for the video.
Yes, because you want to see it…for totally normal reasons.
It can mean cringe but it’s more similar to the word strange and can be good or bad depending on context. Someone who learns Elvish and wears clothes from the 1920s could be considered weird but interesting. Republicans are the kind of weird that makes you feel uncomfortable around them. “Why are they so concerned about what my children are wearing?” Kind of weird
“Absolutely revolting claim! And where’s the proof? The video? I need to see that horrible, disgusting video before I believe these claims! Show me-I mean us the video!”
Hey guys, it’s time to mature up and admit that Vance probably did not have sex with a couch.
He made love to it. Also, the couch was totally asking for it.
You know the couch was into it… When the couch doesn’t want it, nature has ways of just shutting all that down.
I heard the couch was dressed like a total loveseat, and wasn’t even wearing a cover.
If the couch didn’t want fucked why was it wearing those sexy cushions?!!
You know, until recently I thought that the golden days of Internet activism were over and we were mostly living in times where it was ridiculously easy to get things censored on the Internet.
Then something as stupid as this gets this amount of attention because of Internet users having way too much time and energy to spread it. WTF
Are there no actually serious issues in the world that it is worth spreading information about? I think there are.
