231 points
*

I think Vance’s problem is that he has no defense for anyone’s claims. You can claim ANYTHING about Vance, true or not, and people are like, “Yeah, I see it.”

My mom had JD Vance as a student in Ohio. He kept 3 of his pet frogs in his underwear during the day and no one knew why.

See?

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117 points

yea, i see it

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35 points

did you enjoy the visualization?

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51 points

no

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60 points

AP can’t prove he didn’t keep pet frogs in his underwear.

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19 points

And they were unable to find the frogs for comment.

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16 points

They probably croaked at this point.

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8 points

Have they checked in the couch?

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56 points
*

His own party made racist jokes about his wife being Indian and this guy is like, “Yeah she’s not white.”

Wtf.

I would have taken any other answer, even the Will Smith slap. Jeez this fucking guy.

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35 points

I think Vance’s problem is he’s super weird

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14 points

Where’d he keep the rest of them?

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21 points

In the couch to keep them moist.

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0 points

You had to use the “m” word, huh? 😝

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12 points

I ate the onion on that statement, good on ya

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10 points

That makes total sense. I just hope he took them out when he had carnal relations with the settee.

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4 points

No, he wanted to be able to claim he’d been in “orgies”.

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9 points

How many pet frogs did he had?

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12 points

Normal amount.

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3 points

Well, enough to keep three in his underwear.

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7 points

I heard they were tadpoles but came out frogs. So they were in there for a while.

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6 points

I heard he liked the extra couch friction gained from the frog warts.

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6 points

Just look at the guy y’know

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4 points

In the underwear ? What ?

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4 points

Technically, ladies underwear, but I don’t judge.

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2 points

The real comments are in the comments

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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106 points
*

James David (formerly Duncan Donald) Vance requests that he be referred to as JD. Makes fun of woman requesting to be referred to as “she.”

That’s weird.

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40 points

Hey, have some respect - the female anatomy terrifies him so much that he can’t even stand to think about a period every time he looks at his own name.

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25 points

James Donald Bowman

Not Duncan but we dunkin on him

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15 points

Ya, I yanked Duncan outta my ass, thanks for the clarity!

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16 points

Your ass and a couch? That weird fucker will fuck anything!

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63 points

Well, so far there are already unsettling rumors about his sexual attraction towards couch cushions and dolphins… That is pretty weird

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13 points

The singed monkey nuts stuff was above board, tho’.

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12 points

Maybe he’s the one that was inviting Cawthorne to all those orgies.

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37 points

Lmao even Devin Nunes’ Cow got in on the trolling 😂

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33 points

i may have to eat my own words…

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39 points

Man, a lot of us are eating our words from the days before Biden dropped out. I chopped mine up into a salad, it was alright.

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18 points

You and I. What nobody was expecting is that Trump picked such a bad VP that it would ruin his race this bad.

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10 points

Unfortunately I don’t think Donalds need to always be correct will override his desire to be a dictator and stay out of jail.

If Vance is still VP by election day then I’ll be a monkeys uncle. I don’t actually know what that saying is supposed to mean, but if I’m wrong then at least I get to be an uncle to a monkey and that’s kinda cool, right?

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6 points

It was originally used by creationists to mock Darwin, and from there slowly entered the lexicon as an expression of disbelief.

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4 points

I’ve never been this thrilled to be wrong before.

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