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23 points

There’s absolutely no proof that J.D. Vance uses burnt monkey testicles as anal beads while making love to his chaiselongue. Reports of him heating them up in a red Le Creuset cast iron skillet before insertion are pure speculation.

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2 points

There’s also no proof he doesn’t though so we can’t say for sure

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31 points

I just hate the fact that this absolute fucker has ruined the name JD. I love Scrubs.

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3 points

Before 2016 I used to use twice impeached, convicted felon ex-president 45’s name a lot for context and comparison because it is short and can act as a hard emphasis word.

Not any more and I can’t find a verb to replace it but I’ll be damned if I give that fascist shitstain even one drop of SEO even on accident

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28 points

That and the good name of Vance Refrigeration

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2 points

What kinda business you in Bob?

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10 points

He’s not an absolute fucker unless absolute is a brand of couch.

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2 points

It comes with shot-glass-sized cup holders in the armrest.

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35 points

I wish I’d contented myself with the headline on this one.

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8 points

Thank you for the comment. I’ll let my curiousity go unanswered and my imagination take the reins.

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37 points

Seems like Trump’s people didn’t do any digging to vet Vance, but the MAGA crowd will write it all off as fake news anyway.

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21 points

Now that’s it’s come out that he got bullied into the JD pick by his failsons, I’m thinking they did do some digging. He just got bullied.

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28 points

failsons

New word of the day!

Noun

An incompetent, unsuccessful middle-class or upper-class man who is protected from economic duress by his family’s wealth or influence.

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Also the fact that Trump only cares about himself and his growing cognitive decline means he probably had zero idea who any of the people on “his short list” even were. So when his offspring offered to make that pick for him I’m sure he was all for it, and being a raging narcissist believed it didn’t even matter against Biden.

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8 points

It’s sad how old he is. Old and quite weird.

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12 points

… I just want to stop learning more about this man. Everywhere you look, there’s something even more fucked up than whatever you knew before.

(Jk, everyone needs to learn about him so we can win in November)

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