I’ve put through kids through secondary and have two more to go. I universally regret giving them a smartphone at year 7. For the first one we fought valiantly - we said no; she and one other girl in her whole year didn’t have a smart phone. Within 6 months it became clear that she was missing out on a lot of events by not having a phone. We caved in and bought one of those neutered android phones meant for younger people - it sucked and basically didn’t work. After 9 months we got her a used iPhone.
It was also the wrong thing to do. Social media immediately starts shaping them and we still have restrictions on which networks they can go on. She can pry Instagram out of my cold dead hands; that site is liquid poison for a young girl.
Lol, I would’ve been bullied in school if I didn’t have a phone. At least in later grades when phones became more popular.
Coming from an era when nobody had phones, basically everyone got bullied anyway.
I’m disappointed that most people seem to treat kids as subhuman, not needing the basic right privacy and freedom that they want for adults so much.
“Because never in my entire childhood did I feel like a child. I felt like a person all along - the same person that I am today. I never felt that I spoke childishly. I never felt that my emotions and desires were somehow less real than adult emotions and desires.”
—Orson Scott Card, Ender’s Game
It’s important to note that a big part of that book is repeated evidence that Ender is not a “normal” child. He is heavily implied to have murdered one of his bullies before he was ever pulled out of society and into training (where he explicitly kills another bully).
So what of the kids going to do instead? People like this always demand that children go outside but there’s literally nothing for them to do.
When I was a kid we used to sellotape each other to the swings and other wholesome activities. But we can’t do that anymore because the park activities have been removed apparently due to “vandalism” i.e normal wear and tear that took place over 10 years has occurred, but we cannot afford to fix it because central government hasn’t given us any money since 2014.
but there’s literally nothing for them to do.
You just hang out and do fun and stupid shit, it’s nice to have special place for it but a construction site and under the bridge is good enough. Problem is modern parents are extremely anxious.
Like play games (like war or something), roam around, make fires, have “gangs”, play other pretend stuff (basically role playing but without any real rules ) - ask your parents and grandparents what they were up to when they were kids.
Dang if parents only could do anything about their children smartphone use.
Just like the UK bill wanting an ID for porn sites. And, in the EU, Youtube is wanting my ID for age verification to follow EU law. Isn’t a much less authoritarian solution just to use blocklists, or even mandate sites send an unencrypted flag with content that is “adult” and browsers or routers can choose to deal with that or not.
My kid was the last one in their school year to get a smartphone. He was bullied for not having a smartphone. He used to ask me for one several times a day and I stuck to what I’d said, he’ll get one on his birthday. I still feel it was far too early. He was 10 when he got it.
You did the right thing. If it was the 1900s and everyone else was to give their child cigarettes, they might get bullied for having no cigarettes, but you know what is best and you stuck with it
Also you are not getting bullied because you don’t have cigarettes or smartphones, but because you lack self confidence and because you are perceived as social weak (your friends and random bystanders would not come to your help).
