If you truly love your partner, does a ring and a ceremony really do anything?
I know there are certain legal situations where an official marriage changes who has certain rights, but aren’t those same rights available if you make other legally-official decisions E.G. a will or trusts, etc?
I’m generally curious why people get married beyond the “because I love them” when it costs so much money.
My partner and I wanted it for legal reasons, especially since I’m disabled so he can make medical decisions etc.
We can either "register as partners’ or get married. Both cost the same. Marriage had a wedding party. Costs a lil bit more, but brought together all of our friends and had a beautiful day. So why choose boring?
Had a coworker who got married because the paperwork (or rather leak thereof) for the dad when they had kids.
For me it was a way of showing my love, a way of showing that I want to commit long term.
Yeah, when you’re married the husband will automatically be registered as the dad instead of ‘having to prove it’.
Our wedding had a double layer: we had the plan in our head for a while. Then my dad passed away and on his deathbed my now husband promised him he would take care of me like how he took care of me. So, it became incredibly emotional (6 months later) as some sort of seal on that promise too.
No, you often cannot replace the rights of marriage with other paperwork. But even if you could, does not that already answer your question? I think so…
If you want that legal framework and marriage provides it in a simple package, then maybe that’s the way to go.
If you’re looking for a rational argument for the big party or the religious ceremony or anything like that – You won’t find it. These things are meant to play to the emotional, and this isn’t a flaw, it’s the whole point. People really need to embrace that we are, in fact, very emotional creatures, and that this is not a bad thing, and that yes, a lot of the things we do are done just for the emotional satisfaction of it. Because it’s fun, because it will make you or someone you care about happy.
If neither you nor your partner give two shits about big parties or ceremonies, then neither of you needs to bother. If said partner does want this and you don’t, then y’know, maybe have a good chat about that and find a compromise. That’s how partnerships work. (Me personally I’d love to organise my own wedding and go all quirky with it, but I can live without it)
Being legally married is a separate thing, and is inexpensive in most countries (just a small fee so the bureaucrats can process the bureaucracy), and at least in my country is often done weeks if not months in advance of the big party and/or religious ceremony, with the couple already being legally married while they organise their wedding stuff. To be legally married is to have you and your partner recognised by The State ™ as being a family unit. This has uses for a few situations in life.
Medically if something were to happen to one of you, the medical staff can only engage with next of kin or a parent. It makes those medical emergency situations much easier to navigate through. Sure, you can go through all sorts of legal stuff to make it work and spend a ton of money on legal fees, or just spend the $50 on a marriage certificate, do a courthouse wedding, and be done. It’s an all in one package deal.
Courthouse weddings are a thing, and not expensive. That covers the legal part, and doesn’t require any fancy lawyer stuff like whatever wills or trusts you’re thinking about. Not like we have any real assets anyway. Rings are not required, but you also don’t need to spend a ton on them if you do want them.
