I clicked on your name and see nothing. I’m guessing this is because you’re not on mbin?
I’m not 100% sure I get this. Is the point the added effort/latency/overhead, too many neopronouns, or that someone might change their gender on a daily/hourly basis?
I think the context is talking to a stranger for the first time, hence needing to check pronouns.
someone called me “you bitch” the other day (in jest, I was teasing them) and I just… it felt nice. gender affirming profanities. who knew?
People don’t even check the name of the person they are replying to. From the signature or from the account itself. And just write whatever they come up with. So I don’t really expect anything from them :(
True, and it seems most assume they’re interacting with their own gender, which isn’t always the case.
Technical limitations may contribute to the problem. Many instances and clients won’t show things like avatars, bios, and instance-specific fields like pronouns due to privacy policies or resource limitations. For example, on voyager (popular client) all I can see about any user is the name, modlog, and post history.
To see a full profile, I can open a browser tab and navigate to their instance, but sometimes even then I’m prompted for my instance login, which usually entails a delay for manual review.
If all else fails, I try to skim the post history for mention of their pronouns or avoid gender-coded wording entirely. Unless we’re discussing gender specifically, the latter is rarely difficult.
I assume everyone online is a guy, and it’s not because I’m a guy! Everyone also assumes I’m a guy, even with this username almost everywhere. Hmmm.
It’s easier to assume everyone online is a guy and still use gender neutral pronouns though. I think it’s also a language problem that people weren’t really used to using gender neutral pronouns in general so they resist it. I wonder if the problem is more pronounced in languages where everything has to be gendered.
Good point, I’ve also seen that in many online spaces, especially ones like Re**** and lemmy. While I assume it’s mostly laziness (“usually guy” harder than “always guy”) there’s also the fact that gender neutrality to most is male-coded because [tedious rant about patriarchal society].
Edit: grammar
Just say they, it’s worked for centuries.
Funny enough, for centuries “thou” was the more intimate and less formal way to say “you.” It took on an air of formality when it fell out of common use and remained only in older works associated with institutional authority. 🌈