True, and it seems most assume they’re interacting with their own gender, which isn’t always the case.
Technical limitations may contribute to the problem. Many instances and clients won’t show things like avatars, bios, and instance-specific fields like pronouns due to privacy policies or resource limitations. For example, on voyager (popular client) all I can see about any user is the name, modlog, and post history.
To see a full profile, I can open a browser tab and navigate to their instance, but sometimes even then I’m prompted for my instance login, which usually entails a delay for manual review.
If all else fails, I try to skim the post history for mention of their pronouns or avoid gender-coded wording entirely. Unless we’re discussing gender specifically, the latter is rarely difficult.
I assume everyone online is a guy, and it’s not because I’m a guy! Everyone also assumes I’m a guy, even with this username almost everywhere. Hmmm.
Good point, I’ve also seen that in many online spaces, especially ones like Re**** and lemmy. While I assume it’s mostly laziness (“usually guy” harder than “always guy”) there’s also the fact that gender neutrality to most is male-coded because [tedious rant about patriarchal society].
Edit: grammar
It’s been the way since I started online, oh so long ago before Eternal September…but yes. I think because guys tend to be more outspoken about being a guy? I normally don’t respond if someone calls me a guy or whatever, because it’s generally safer to just go along with it. Why, as a women, would I want to draw attention to that when it just means harassment and such generally? And I’m not like subtle and have a username that you could go “probably a guy” cause Rebekah is only ever a female coded name, I think? Ah I’m rambling. Such a splitting headache this morning. Hope you’re doing well.
It’s easier to assume everyone online is a guy and still use gender neutral pronouns though. I think it’s also a language problem that people weren’t really used to using gender neutral pronouns in general so they resist it. I wonder if the problem is more pronounced in languages where everything has to be gendered.
Oh, I try and call people online beings! Hello being, how are you! It either annoys the being or amuses the heck outta them. Gendered languages seem like they’d be a lot more difficult to disentangle such things from. I think I’m glad English isn’t then, even though English sucks in just so many ways?