J.D. Vance’s weird, anti-woke punchline fell flat at his own sleepy speaking event on Monday.

Vance held a rally at his former high school in Middletown, Ohio, where hundreds gathered to hear the missives of Donald Trump’s newly-minted vice presidential candidate. But, even as a hometown hero, the Ohio senator suffered some brutally awkward moments.

“It is the weirdest thing to me: Democrats say that it is racist to believe—well, they say it’s racist to do anything,” said Vance. “I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.

124 points

Like Vance’s quip about diet soda, this approach to criticism seems to stem from having absolutely nothing of substance to say about a subject, but giving it their best shot anyway.

Overall, the Republican’s performance was so underwhelming that even Fox News stopped airing coverage of Vance’s speech in the middle of his remarks.

oh that is funny!

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90 points
*

Worst VP pick since Palin. He presents as your smartass alt right troll cousin that you think about skipping Thanksgiving to avoid, and his only real appeal is speaking out against the “elites,” who were all inconveniently in the list of his personal contacts that were accessible to the public because the RNC forgot to set his Venmo to private while “vetting” their VP pick.

It’s a clown show. The MAGA camp thought they had it in the bag for a few weeks and made some incredibly stupid, sloppy decisions.

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20 points

I wonder if all the other options actually had backbones? I know the one supreme deciding factor for Trump’s pick: “will you do as I say and deny the results of the election and anything else I ask you to do that isn’t above board?”

I think there might be more pences out there than we think so Vance might have been one of a few on a short list that filled that criteria. Plus I’m sure Trump liked the look of him.

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7 points

Reporting was saying that Trump didn’t like Vance and Trump’s sons had to convince him.

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4 points

Interesting. The only reason I’d have to not believe that is that it involves Trump listening to his children lol

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4 points

There’s also the factor that Trump’s cultists wanted to hang his last VP, and Trump was okay with that.

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9 points

I hadn’t heard that venmo story, gotta love the self owns, here it is: https://www.wired.com/story/jd-vance-venmo/

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5 points

It’s a clown show. The MAGA camp thought they had it in the bag for a few weeks and made some incredibly stupid, sloppy decisions.

You say that like MAGA and stupid, sloppy decisions don’t go hand in hand.

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2 points

Anyone publicly known to be supporting Trump is by definition stupid or sloppy.

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82 points

So far he’s got the charisma of a soap dish.

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37 points

That’s more than Mike Pence ever managed.

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11 points

Hell, I was convinced Pence was a supervillain sitting in a swivel chair stroking a long haired cat for like the first year of Trump’s presidency. I didn’t like Trump, but I just thought he was a blowhard who would do absolutely nothing rather than trying to actively harm people.

Pence turned out to be little more than a neutered grapefruit with almost as much personality.

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9 points

After Cheney that’s an understandable assumption about the VP.

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19 points

He truly is Trump’s successor, rambling about incoherent nonsense is a staple of a Trump rally. My favorite has to be his many rants about toilets not flushing.

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79 points

Ew he drank DIET? Is he some weird LEFTY MARXIST COMMUINIST? Real Americans have FULL SUGAR

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Americans 👏 consume 👏 high 👏 fructose 👏 corn 👏 syrup

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29 points

My taxes subsidized all that corn, I gotta get my money’s worth!!

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7 points

nuh uh According to my extremely conservative coworker, that stuff causes cancer and big soda is trying to kill us. Something like that

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11 points

But then turns around to order snake oil and miracle pills from Infowars, then takes his daily hydroxychloroquine tab and rolling coal on some Tesla owner

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28 points

Diet Mountain Dew tastes like absolute trash. It’s like they just replaced the pound of sugar in each bottle with an equal amount of bitter aspartame with no other recipe adjustments.

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9 points
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Baja Blast and Code Red are the exceptions to that, otherwise hard agree.

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1 point

I wasn’t aware they made diet flavors of those.

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-5 points
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and if its only 1 soda a day, just drink the regular one ya fucking loon. Vance is younger than me, I don’t drink soda very often, and when I do enjoy a regular Mt Dew. Stuff is fuckin good!

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13 points

One bottle has 77g of sugar, even one a day is an incredible amount of sugar for the average diet, thats in conjunction with I assume other sugary foods too.

Most drinks in general just have way way too much sugar.

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4 points

Actual leftists prefer Code Red.

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3 points

Freedom is consuming the sugary chemical water of the megacorporations.

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1 point

that’s hexabear for you

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73 points
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“They keep saying I’m a racist no matter which soda I drink—it’s almost as if they reached that conclusion on some other basis altogether!”

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24 points

“They’re never satisfied, I mutter the n-word while I drink coke, racist! I mutter DEI n-word while drinking Pepsi, racist! I put my foot on the throat of my black maid for fun while drinking sprite, racist! The left has lost their n-word minds! Oops they’ll call me racist for that too! Unbelievable!”

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