Sure, there was the attempted assassination of Reagan and the fears for Obama as the first black President, but in those cases it was a lone nutter rather than a conspiracy.

How long can Trump crash the market before an angry billionaire decides to take him out? The remaining Koch brother is already pouring money into legal challenges against Trump…

260 points

100% chance but mostly because i think that the plan

  1. Let trump do what he want
  2. Kill trump
  3. Put a puppet like vance in is place
  4. Use trump death to do what they want with the reason of stopping the big bad left
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97 points

I’ve been saying this for months. How long until 47 “has a stroke.”

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49 points

Had some polonium tea, fell out a window, then shot himself in the back of the head.

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27 points

Corner’s report: Looks like suicide to me.

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4 points

Fell down an elevator shaft, landed on some bullets.

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2 points

Twice

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5 points

Not sure why anyone would bother making it look natural/accidental?

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2 points

If he gets assassinated, he becomes a martyr.

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178 points

A public assassination like Kennedy’s is meant to send a message. Trump would just have a cardiac event and never come out of the hospital. The real issue will be that he’s old and fat and eats trash, so he could have a legit health problem and die from natural causes easily at his age.

But then, President JD Vance. I don’t think anyone but Peter Thiel and Elon Musk want that. Trump sucks, but he’s the devil you know. Vance could be turboHitler or just hand the whole country to Silicon Valley. Rule by ChatGPT may be the worst of all possible worlds.

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66 points

YES. This guy gets it. Nobody understands how lucky we are to have this fuckwit as president. Do you see all these actual fascists constantly up in his prostate? Trump was a proof of concept. These taint-lickers are panting to have control. Let’s see how his mouth-breathing paint-eating constituency acts when this fat fuck is dead. Probably no different, but maybe.

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103 points

Yeah but the difference is Trump has the magnetism and Vance doesn’t? Usually when a cult leader dies the whole cult kinda fizzles out.

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45 points

Tell that to the Christians. You might even say their leader dying sparked the whole thing.

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17 points

I think what you call “magnetism” is the balls to straight up lie to your supporters like they’re stupid. Seriously, I think Trump demonstrated that you can just say whatever feels good and people will accept it with zero regard for reality. That’s what was assumed false before Trump. I think they know the game plan now.

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14 points

Exactly this. Donald Trump has the Charisma to assemble a cult whereas then these other people can hold together the coalition. Everyone’s just writing Trump’s coattails so without him the whole thing just falls apart

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5 points
*

Sure the cult does, but the dictatorship they left doesn’t fizzle out.

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4 points

I don’t know if you even need the magnetism. Vance has shown he can lie just as bald-facedly As Trump does. For god sakes there was a time where the Republican hordes were carry ground cups of JD Vance cum or something. Does no one remember that? I wouldn’t be so sure they wouldn’t just transfer right to him.

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1 point

I agree but I believe that’s why his underlings are using him as a front to destroy all checks and balances so when he does fizzle out, they can keep control.

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22 points
*

WE ARE NOT LUCKY TO HAVE A FUCKING HALF-DEAD RETARD AS PRESIDENT. THIS IS NOT OKAY AT ANY FUCKING LEVEL.

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8 points

Your president is half-dead on a few levels sweetie.

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5 points

The only thing possibly holding them off is that there’s 2 or 3 factions all wanting to long knife™ eachother at the first chance, which means they have to be ready to go as soon as the power vacuum happens, and one of the factions controls the VP seat.

That might delay the chaos a bit, but not for long.

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2 points

Let’s see how his mouth-breathing paint-eating constituency acts when this fat fuck is dead. Probably no different, but maybe.

Trump and the media have built a cult of personality around Trump. I don’t see how that power could transfer to another person, I can’t think of another person in the line up that has personality.

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1 point

I disagree, and I’ll point you to down-ballot MAGA Republicans who are running and winning saying the same things. I strongly believe that this has nothing to do with Trump’s “personality”, it’s to do with what he was first willing to say and get away with. Nobody assumed you could get away with it and succeed.

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32 points

Vance has no conviction behind anything he ever says. Just google “jd vance never trump” and I’m sure you’ll find a slew of videos from a few years ago where he was saying he’s “a never trump guy”.

Kinda funny how quickly he spread his asshole to present himself for trump then.

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2 points

Vance could be relatively good. Signs point to no, but those signs are weak. The only thing I truly know about him is that he’ll lie for power. What he does once he gets that power is anyone’s guess.

He’s close to Peter Thiel. His book is really fucking condescending towards the rural poor. (Why don’t they just get out like he did?) He’s young enough to go for a second term if he gets half a first term. And he hates Trump except when he needs to use him to gain power.

That’s the complete record of what we know about Vance. Maybe his book was bullshit that he knew would play well with rich conservatives. Maybe he was using Peter Thiel. Maybe there’s a human in there we’ve never seen. Or maybe not.

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18 points

Trump crashing the economy, Trump dying from whatever, Vance taking over and taking credit for any kind of recovery sounds almost like its planned.

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9 points

Nah. The damage Trump has done can’t be undone.

Sure vance might replace him and take credit for any recovery, but this level of destruction was not planned.

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2 points

I do hope so. The whole don’t buy american movement is just gonna pick up more and more. Once people realise that that’s the best course of action anyway, there is no going back.

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4 points

Trump sucks, but he’s the devil you know. Vance could be turboHitler or […]

I don’t buy that.

Whoever would be able, and willing, and succeeding with the first one, is an evil person, and would already have a plan with the second one. An evil plan, I guess, that would make the second one scared enough to become that puppet.

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0 points
*

You don’t have to beat around the bush, you can just say putin.

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1 point

I haven’t thought of him. I think he has very different methods, and btw, Orange is already his puppet :)

I have thought about money-stuffed Americans (not only from the Us of) and Chinese methods.

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-7 points
Deleted by creator
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4 points

Is this some USA defaultism I’m sensing

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-2 points

Not anywhere near you.

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3 points

anyone but Peter Thiel and Elon Musk want that.

And Putin

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2 points

So first kill Vance unawares, then kill Drumpf? Gotcha, noted!

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6 points

President Mike Johnson outlaws women going out in public alone and institutes daily Bible reading classes. Attendance is mandatory if you don’t want to end up in an El Salvador slave prison.

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102 points

There’s already been like five attempts, and two of them got shots off. Eventually, someone might get lucky.

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5 points

They only need to get lucky once.

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Deleted by creator
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4 points

Ok this might be my new favourite conspiracy

Our universe is a simulation created by a group of facists that are using us to research how they can gain and maintain power. If a successful fascist regime takes hold then the experiment will be over and the simulation will be shut off, the only way to survive is to continue to fend off fascisum.

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65 points

I don’t think it’s at all likely. Trump knows he’s hated, and he isn’t about to go and do a parade in a convertible. More importantly, the secret service knows he’s hated and know they screwed up huge in letting someone take a shot at him, so they’ve dialed security up to 11.

Reagan and JFK were shot at a time when they had extremely high approval ratings. It was probably harder for the secret service to stay focused and for everyone to take threats seriously when that was the case.

This isn’t a Hollywood movie where a billionaire can go on the dark web and hire The Jackal or something. If they were to try to place a hit, most of The Jackals out there are probably feds posing as hitmen.

But, let’s say somehow a billionaire could find people willing to make the attempt. Trying to assassinate the US president is a suicide mission. If someone tries to do it as a lone gunman, they’re going up against the entire secret service. They may get the attack in, but they’re almost certainly not going to get away. If it’s a group of attackers, the more people, the more communications, the more communications, the more opportunities for the NSA to spot them.

And, this is one time we don’t have to worry about nation-states attacking the president. The US is punching itself in the dick over and over right now. If you’re someone who wants the US to fail, you just have to stand by and watch. In fact, if an enemy’s surveillance of the US turned up a plan to kill Trump, they’d probably warn the secret service to make sure Trump stays in power as long as possible.

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82 points

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25 points
*

i had a friend in the drama department in college. he was an idiot. he was one of those guys who got older every year but his girlfriends didn’t. a few years after we all graduated, we all went our ways. word made it through the grapevine one day because we all got google alerts. he’d been arrested by the feds, and not for statutory like we’d all first assumed. nah, he couldn’t get a job after college so he tried to convince an undercover ATF officer to engage in some light terrorism/treason as a way of blowing off steam. funniest thing is, my mom and that ATF officer’s wife go on vacation together like twice a year (they lived in my hometown for fifteen years, we’re friends).

uh, fuck. i’m sure there was a point to this story. if i remember i’ll get back to it.

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15 points

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8 points

i’m trying to remember if there was something about my idiot felon friend who i think is stupid enough to get tricked into being a patsy or something about my myopic but wellmeaning fed friend that was relevant. twas one or tother. i’m very tired an [8]. it may take me some time to figure it out.

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But what happens when you tell trump how GOOD he would look in a convertible in a large parade?

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7 points

He’d know what it would do to his hair, he’d never risk that.

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6 points

“hair”

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12 points

No, the secret service did not screw that up. They told the Trump campaign they could not secure the area and the campaign ignored them. Trump is far dumber than Hitler. Hitler had people protecting him and he respected their work. Trump dismisses anything that mildly annoys or inconveniences him. He absolutely will be shot, we just have no idea when or what country will get credit for the kill.

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7 points

What country would want him shot? He’s destroying the US more effectively than any enemy could ever hope to do.

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9 points

Countries outside the US don’t see it as an enemy, but as a wealthy partner. Having that partner suddenly go insane and lashing out at its friends due to a malignant brain tumour is sad to see. They might well support surgery to remove the tumour in the hope that their former partner can one day recover.

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3 points

You are assuming it’s an enemy I was referring to. Trump is really hurting our allies and they are in a dangerous place right now because of him. He’s not stopping. He’s making other countries vulnerable. the fastest fix for them is if he dies.

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1 point

The EU, UK, Canada, Mexico + Cartels, Taiwan, Japan…and Ukraine. There are a lot of people endangered by the Trump Regime, and would like this ride to stop.

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2 points

Hitler, unlike Trump, fought in an actual war. If nothing else, that goes a long way towards respecting the power of violence - both to give and receive it.

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11 points

A suicide mission might not be as much of an issue if someone’s entire life is in shambless due to economic collapse, no healthcare and God knows what else is cooking up over there in the US. I mean, you’re prolly very tight that the feds are on top of it, but human life can be pretty squishy, especially for a ca. 80 y.o. man. Someone could leave a carrot on the white house doorstep and he might trip and snap his neck, who knows.

But I’m more curious about the people who lose everything, are getting truly desperate, and have nothing left to fear.

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1 point

Yeah, people forget that there are entire generations of Americans whose only feasible retirement plans are suicide or homicide

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0 points

Or just, you know, death. 😂 No need to throw a “-cide” of any kind, enough of the time. I had a 50 y/o coworker die from cancer. Sad. Too soon. But he was worried about retirement…now he doesn’t have to. ¯\(°_o)/¯

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0 points

Considering how the Trump Regime consistently fires anyone who is competent but DEI or not glazing Trump’s asshole, I think an assassin would have an easier time than usual.

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1 point

It’s going to take a while to weed all the competent people out of the secret service.

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