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78 points
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Nah. You see I stay in my room 23 and a half hours a day. What I would prefer is if they could be Lured to my room and then I say the thing and then we plow. Like your plan is good but I dunno. At a minimum, how long would this plan require me to be outside of my room for?

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27 points

At least 10 more minutes

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19 points

Well shit, that’s a non-starter then.

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3 points

Better order something inflatable then, it will probably be more accommodating, and I suggest you order a wide selection and some repair kits just to be sure.

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15 points

Become a trapdoor spider, and leave a basket of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards outside your door as bait?

Step two say ??? No idea what really. Maybe cross your fingers you have a shared interest and the whole kidnapping thing isn’t a big deal.

Step three be in a relationship, and probably learn to leave room more often.

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