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68 points

We had something like the first one when I was in high school. When I was a freshmen, I saw another student drop his pants, hop up on top of it, lower into the spout so it went ALL the way up his ass, reached around and turned the water on for a second, then lifted off and shot a wave of shit-water all over the basin/wall behind it, then hopped down and ran off giggling.

Yeah…

Haven’t used a water fountain since.

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2 points

Jesus

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How do I unlearn to read?

Edit: Solved!

cymtcviy! yi?hj kh?ivul jyrg4@g4w3ytmc i!vy8f6lr67k5h4r65kfi!6g md65dutmyfi!vui!gyi! cutcu tctu j2jw sidhe soqn sosn dosna qpch e waosn s wlom !!

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20 points
*

I’m afraid you actually unlearned to write. Are you sure you really can’t read what I’m saying?

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2 points

Elementary school librarians told me reading would open up my mind to new possibilities. They didn’t specify what kind of possibilities.

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3 points

There’s always Reddit for that.:-P

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21 points

…huh?

what…?

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12 points

Public high school in a sketchy area. You’ll see some things.

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16 points

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11 points

I also don’t, simply because my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls. Like he was just ripping them straight out. There’s no way they could support someone putting their entire body weight on it to shove the spout up their ass.

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8 points

Your school’s infrastructure was apparently even shittier than mine. In any case, he was a skinny little high schooler - that thing could have been screwed into drywall and still supported his weight.

…and if you don’t think a water fountain spout could fit up someone’s ass, I’ve got some foreign object removal stories from working in the OR that… well, you probably also wouldn’t believe, but you’d be amazed what an anal sphincter can accommodate.

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2 points

my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls

Anyone remember that “devious licks” trend?

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2 points

There’s also insertion and water pressure issues. It doesn’t add up, I tell you.

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3 points

I sincerely wish I didn’t believe me either.

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7 points

Do you like live in a version of Pawnee located in Texas?

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1 point

I live in the cousin-fuckingly deep south, but prefer not to get more specific than that.

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10 points

Not even remotely the same but in the 90’s mcdonalds still had salt and pepper shakers on the tables. I knew a guy who loved throwing them in the bag when he got up from the table along with the ten straws he grabbed and wad of napkins. He really was under some serious financial stress in no way due to anything he had done. I refused to use the salt and pepper shakers at his house and he kept bugging me as to why. I told him he didn’t want to know but he insisted. Finally I told him about the time I saw some kids going from table to table licking the tops of the shakers. He immediately threw them all away. Later they started to reappear and it was because he figured out at the first of the month they replaced them and the new one usually had the seal left on them.
Before you trash the guy for doing that. The guy made 80 grand one year and could barely afford food. All that money went to paying his wife’s medical bills. She had grown up inside the boundary of a superfund site out in new mexico and had all kinds of tumors and other problems. It was called a pre existing condition and his insurance wouldn’t pay for hardly anything. They finally divorced so she could get SSI. That was in the early 2000’s. This country sucked then and it still sucks.

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8 points

Yeah no judgement for being frugal at McD’s expense. 1) Fuck McD’s, and 2) Do what to gotta do. There was a point in my life where I got meals from the condiment station at a college cafeteria. They had free ketchup, and a hot water dispenser thing for making tea, so I’d make ‘tomato soup’ by making myself a bowl of hot ketchup water. Couple handfuls of a single package saltines, and there’s lunch. Life sucks when you can’t afford anything, but it does make you become pretty creative when it comes to saving money.

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5 points

The concept of cleaning things also saves a ton of money compared to throwing things away.

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1 point

They were disposable salt and pepper shakers. I know you think it saves money but you can bet some bean counter at corporate did the math to prove that wrong.

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3 points

Why did he need more than 1 or 2 pairs of salt and pepper shakers though? Why did Mcdonalds need to replace them every month instead of refilling them?

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8 points

I’m going to take a guess that throwing away little cheap plastic shakers each month costs less than paying a person to clean and refill them.

So into the landfill they flow!

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3 points

iirc, they were those plastic shakers that didn’t actually have a way to get into them - nothing to unscrew to refill it. They were designed to be used until empty, then discarded and replaced.

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7 points

This is a strong argument for bidets on public toilets

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