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Thankfully now I can be mostly asleep for 15ish hours, it was hell when I would go to bed at 7 to avoid existence and would wake up at 3

I should really just unalive myself and get it over with, things are worse than when I started drugs and therapy and there’s no way things are going to get better. Things don’t improve unless you improve them and I’ve tried and failed over and over

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I can’t say I’ve been there, but as another person on the Internet, I can say that sometimes failing a lot is the only viable path forward and it sucks. It’s the famous quote about the invention of the lightbulb, it took over 1,000 attempts to get something that worked well, and when asked what that felt like to fail so many times, Thomas Edison is attributed for saying, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times, I discovered a thousand ways not to make a lightbulb.”

So I guess I’m saying to keep finding ways that don’t work and I hope you do get your lightbulb soon!

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