Obviously fake and gay as fuck.
However, there’s a lot of men that have never felt safe enough to do that with anyone. As we need it, badly, sometimes.
Yeah, you’re missing the meme of it all.
While it may seem counterintuitive, the 4chan meme of any post being gay helps. If everything is gay, there’s nothing wrong with gay at all. Besides, have you got any close friends under about 30? The entire usage of gay as an insult has essentially disappeared because it’s been reclaimed by young gay folks. They’ve successfully taken it and made it a positive thing.
Back maybe ten, fifteen years ago, what were then gay kids started using it in an ironic way. They’d be gaming or whatever, and someone would do something cool, and another would say, that’s great, but you’re totally gay. Back and forth like that.
Having grown up in an era where it was commonly an insult to be called gay, then seeing gay people gain access to their rights as fellow citizens, and then take old slurs and strip them of much or all of their power, it’s beautiful. There was a time I would have made the same assumption you did. I’d have jumped all over someone saying the same thing.
But now? It’s a celebration of gayness. It’s saying that everything is gay, and that’s fabulous as fuck. Gay isn’t just okay, it’s a thing we accept as commonplace.
When I use it in the context of greentext, it’s recognizing that the assholes of 4chan lost. They didn’t get to keep the word and use it as a bad thing. It got taken from the bigots after lifetimes of use as a word of oppression, and that’s such a victory that it deserves celebrating by using it in this way.
Seriously, if you get a chance to hang around some younger LGBTQ people, take it. They’re the generations raised where being “gay” isn’t some horrible secret, it isn’t a doom of shame that you have to hide at all times. You sit around, or go shooting with, or whatever, and these folks are just casual about it. Hell, I’ve run into groups that are using f×g the same way here and there. Not as common for sure, but it happens.
Obviously, if the context is such that it’s being used as a slur, or even just derogatorily, the person doing so is an asshole. But that’s the key, they aren’t the ones with the power over the word now! The assholes and bigots are the ones that are treated with contempt and derision when they use the word. It really is fucking glorious, beautiful to see.
Man, I used to bounce at a drag club. I had to literally fight to keep the patrons safe from direct physical attack. Seeing the word gay become a term of endearment? I can’t describe how happy that makes me. I hear my kid’s gay friends laughing and throwing it around at school, openly and nobody bats an eye because the power of it too be used as a weapon is finally gone. It fills me with joy to have lived long enough to see it happen. I’m typing this and crying thinking about it.
They’re gay, I’m gay, you’re gay, everyone is gay, and it’s fucking amazing :)
It would be very nice if we could not copy literal 4chan behavior here though, not even ironically.
Can confirm, lived my life as a guy 20yrs online, 30irl. Almost cried the first time someone held me. Wasn’t even romantic, just platonic. I swear half of the world’s problems would be solved if people were more accepting of men sharing physical affection.
Ain’t that the damn truth.
I’ve always been lucky to have partners and friends that were awesome about physical comfort and affection. But there’s been times they weren’t available, and it’s the worst damn feeling to need that damn hug when you’re falling apart, and not having it.
It’s why I’ll never, ever turn my back on someone needing it, even if I don’t like them. Some things are just too damn important to hold back.
I cried the first time a gf was nice to me regularly.
I had some fucked up relationships. I’m doing good now though.
Feeling lonely sucks, but man, whenever I’m listening to some people talk about past relationships they’ve been in, I end up feeling happy it hasn’t happened yet.
I blame my parents. They have such an amazing mutually respectful, supportive and loving marriage that it has set an impossible standard for me to realize.
I wish media depicted more healthy relationships.
Half of people don’t seem to even have an idea of what mundane everyday loving behaviour actually looks like. And the other half does know, but fetishise unhealthy bullshit. (TBH I do too, but I want to engage in it playfully, not full on I will now proceed to straight up destroy you emotionally that I’ve run into with some people. )
My parents are the complete opposite of yours and I always felt like I had no role model to imitate. The thing is, you have to find your own way. And the one thing all parents need to teach their kids is independent thinking. Unfortunately, that also makes them harder to control, so many parents work actively against that.
I wish media depicted more healthy relationships.
And when they do they often portray them as effortless “found my soulmate” kind of relationships which is not how the real world works. Even if you have an amazing partner you need to put in effort to be an amazing partner to them yourself.
Maaaaate same. There was this one girl I dated whom I’ve told I just don’t feel like doing what she felt like doing that night and she said “Alright, we can just watch some more eps of <show we were watching>” and I broke down right there and then.
I ended up forcing my own options on her which isn’t healthy in itself but we could and can talk about this and it’s so weird.
No one and probably won’t any time soon for a plethora of reasons. When I hooked up with a guy for the first time he really made me feel attractive and wanted and I almost broke down too. Terrible self-esteem and being starved for affection is a rough time.
As a level 1 autistic man, I’m a magnet for toxic women. It’s like they hunt for guys like me. It takes me a really long time around a woman before I drop my guard.
Honestly, it’s the only thing I miss as middle aged single dad not dating. Someone to rub my hair while I cry in their lap. Nobody’s taken care of me in decades. I’ve got a lot to cry about. Kinda sucks. Anyway… Back to manning up and working to exhaustion another few decades.
Fwiw, even if you don’t have access to a good comfort companion, you deserve it.
Thanks! We just lost our only free roaming pet so when the kid is away it’s even emptier. I used to put my head on our cat’s furry belly as she purred and stretched, laid her chin on my arm it hand to keep me there. She always knew… Saunter from across the house, hop on the bed, start kneading, settle in for a cuddle… like she could hear my pulse and breathing change in her sleep several rooms away. Having said that, writing this response to your comment made me realize maybe I’ve been reaching out to start dating bc without the kitty crutch, I’m feeling I need that satisfaction from an actual human? 🤷