I had a job. The company didn’t realize that they actually had to sell product to stay in business. Almost all of the workforce was let go or furloughed. I’ve been unemployed for over a month now.
I’ve filled out dozens upon dozens of job apps, starting even before I lost my job. I have my resume public on job listings sites for employers and hiring agencies to find, and I’ve sent my resume to employers and hiring agencies directly. I look through the listings on job boards for each day, mostly limiting my search to a wage that would allow me to make ends meet at home. I’ve solicited and implemented advice from resume design experts. I’ve had one in-person interview, a few preliminary phone interviews, and a couple of message conversations between recruiters and myself. The one in-person interview I had would not have paid enough for my monthly expenses and I was overqualified for the position; they decided against hiring me. I had another interview scheduled and confirmed via a hiring agency’s AI text bot and a human agent’s text; I drove to the scheduled interview place and time and they had no idea that I was supposed to be interviewed. All other communication has either been flat-out rejection or just left me hanging.
I have a Bachelor’s of Science degree from a top 25 ranked university in the US. I have no criminal record. I do have multiple disabilities but they are generally mitigable enough to not affect my work. I have references of my (now) former boss and a (now) former coworker who both praise my impact and aptitude in the factory and office workplace. I’m evidently overqualified for positions that don’t require higher experiences and I’m underqualified for nearly everything else; I can’t get experience in most niche or broad fields because nearly every position requires these experiences to have already been met. I try to follow all the invisible rules of applying and social etiquette. I am too physically ugly to sell my body. It feels like there’s always been a magical aura about me that makes people dislike me no matter how much I try to do the ethically or socially right thing. How am I supposed to get an income to survive?
This is not legal advice.
Lie.
Unless you are apply for a government job, that could get you in legal trouble.
But non-government employers are all fair game, even if they catch your lie, they probably won’t fire you if you’ve been doing good.
So many people don’t realize government positions have hard and soft requirements. Usually the hard requirement is the degree unless there’s profession specific stuff, (like Computer Security requiring the certification). Everything after that is generally how well you can convince them that you do actually have experience or how badly they need bodies. You might start at a lower pay level if it’s the latter but it’s a job and it promotes on time if you stay on top of it.
Bonus points if you have at least one felony or are a rapist or other kind of predator.
Well, at this point you might as well:
Run for office.
Lie all the way.
Who knows, maybe you become the first Lemming to become elected to office. 😉
Or if your polling is low and the odds are not good, you can just illegally spend all your campaign funds for vacations.
YOLO
Its liegal advice
Lad liebertum.
Just make sure you have backup lies if anything gets scrutunized more
Lies must be collateraliezed
I’m not sure how to interpret “liegal”
Is that a typo of legal or illegal?
Don’t put anything on your resume that you’re not prepared to talk about
Don’t leave anything off your resume because you know something about it but aren’t an expert at it.
9 out of 10 times the person picking your resume out of a stack has less subject matter expertise than you do.
If you can fumble your way through it, it goes on the resume. You don’t have to put you’re a god but you also don’t have to put that you only have cursory knowledge.
I prefer to say “stretch the truth”. This is more common than a lot of people realize.
There is always someone getting paid more who doesn’t exactly qualify - or worse, doesn’t even try anymore.
As many people have said in the thread, it’s all about who you know. “Networking” is more important than skills in many industries.
