Share some activities youāve been interested in doing but couldnāt do because youāre closeted.
Transmasc, Transfem, Nonbinary, and Gender Non-Conforming answers are all welcome and encouraged here.
Shaving. Now, that also does have something to do with low self-esteem and being scared about how Iād look without beard since I am bearded for half my life and didnāt shave my face smooth since I was 16, but Iād like to try but then everybody and their mom would ask why and I donāt want to answer (Iām a bad liar and donāt feel comfortable lying, too).
Edit: I appreciate yāall wanting to help, but please stop. I didnāt ask for advice, Iāll probably eventually figure something out and I kinda feel pressured and pushed, itās really not great. Sharing your own experiences is fine, but more is really not needed (especially if youāre suggesting coming up with excuses)
It should be, but isnāt exactly for my family. Theyāre already completely losing their shit when I tap a toe outside my usual āI wear black until thereās something darkerā-presentation.
āI bought an electric razor to try it out and see if itās more efficient, but accidentally shore a giant hole in my beard and had to do damage controlā is also a valid answer.
Been there, done that. What helped me was two things.
-
Finding out nobodyĀ cared that much about my beard missing, except some close friends/partner but they also know me
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Just saying āI wanted to try something newā which is definitely not a lie :3
Honestly shaving makes a huuge difference. Even now, a couple of months into hrt and permanent hair removal the difference a fresh shave makes for my self-recognition in the mirror is astounding!
- Finding out nobodyĀ cared that much about my beard missing, except some close friends/partner but they alsoĀ knowĀ me
Itās mostly about my family, especially my mom. Sheās a different kind of judgmental sometimes. And sheās the last person I want to get a sniff about me changing in any way.
Honestly shaving makes a huuge difference.
I knowā¦ Iām happy itās long pants season again so I can shave my legs and it hits completely different.
I might shave my face, too, but only when I donāt have to meet with my family for a few weeks so I can grow some of my beard back. After New Year is probably gonna be good time since itās probably scarf season anyway.
When I shaved and people noticed, I just told them I used to shave that way or that Iāve always preferred it this way, and the only reason I had a beard before was because I was so busy for a while and stopped shaving to save time, so I was just getting back to my normal habits. You can probably find a similar excuse, that you have always preferred it this way and youāre just getting back into it.
I should emphasize: men shave all the time, there is nothing suspicious about shaving your beard, hard stop.
Yeah, I kinda wanna try shaving off my beard as well. Itād be a bit problematic for me though, all my ID has me with a beard, and i look completely different without it (photo ID gets checked a lot for work). Whole reason I grew it was because itās so dense and grows so fast shaving smooth regularly was a pain in the ass.
Does your beard grow quick though? But yeah, how much a full, thick beard changes your appearance is often underestimated.
Hey, Iām just here after reading your edit, and I just want to say that youāre totally valid.
I have a big bushy beard and I wear dresses and skirts and such. I know that Iām definitely in the minority, but fuck it, lifeās too short not to do what you want.
Ever since I was a kid I wanted a beard like my dad. Now that itās come fully in, I havenāt shaved my face in a decade. Itās at least as much a part of my identity as my femininity, and the two donāt have to be mutually exclusive.
Anyway, I donāt want to add to the pressure youāre feeling. Youāre the only one who can say how you should live your life, and thereās no wrong answers. But Iāve lived in the closet for a long time, and while I was there it might not have been comfortable, but it felt safe. But now that Iām out, I wouldnāt trade it for anything.
I get that. I didnāt shave my beard until the weekend before starting hormones. It was an armor I grew to protect myself (partly from seeing my face) and I let it go when it was time. I had the same reasons for not shaving sooner. So grow it until youāre ready to shed it sister. Your body is yours alone.
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