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137 points

This is what conspiracy theories are supposed be. Absurd insanity. Not “vaccines are bad for you” or “a secret agent with Q clearance wants patriots to overthrow democracy”.

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65 points

I prefer the “Darth Jar Jar” and “The Bloop” levels of conspiracy theories.

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37 points

Darth jar jar was absolutely meant to be canon and you can’t change my mind.

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1 point

If you count the Lego Star Wars sets, it is canon now :D

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2 points

I so wish it would have been true. I didn’t mind Jar Jar as much as others, I’m old (original trilogy old) and think he was… adequate for comic relief and for the kids, but him being a bumbling Sith would be just perfect. I should look for some fan fic of this

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3 points

It didn’t really make sense to me that he would be right there when the Jedi landed. The Trade Federation has multiple landing locations, which we saw in the movie, how did Darth Jar Jar know which one had the two Jedi stowed away on? Also how did he know that they escaped or would escape? Plus why didn’t he just kill them on route to meeting Anakin?

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12 points

Bruh there’s actual supporting evidence for Darth Jar Jar. He doesn’t deserve to be lumped in with the crazy shit!

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7 points

I miss Batboy and Elvis being spotted in their convertible UFO.

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2 points

Don’t forget Bigger Luke

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16 points

“vaccines are bad for you” is extremely absurd and insane, tbf.

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10 points

It’s vicious and anti-scientific, but it’s not in the same level of obviously untrue statement as good conspiracy theories. Things that were claimed to be safe turning out to not be safe is something that actually happens. They’re just lying that it’s true of vaccines.

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6 points

It gets absurd enough when you go back to the original claim

“My MMR vaccine is completely safe, but the other MMR vaccine gives your child an upset tummy, which causes autism”

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4 points

My favorite conspiracy theory is that Kelly Johnson was read into alien tech at area 51/roswell and he was allowed to reverse engineer it. That’s why he got government funding directly to him, and how he developed the sr71 blackbird so fucking quick

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25 points

The best conspiracy ever conceived was the one that convinced people that conspiracies are absurdist caricatures of the very real threat of collusion.

All these crazy conspiracies just weaken the perception of the mundane real ones.

If I was gonna conspire, the first step would be to trivialize the idea in the first place.

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2 points

Case in point: A reality TV show called Big Brother, named after the nebulous, terrifying, all-powerful overseer in George Orwell’s 1984, was created specifically to rob the name of its power.

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5 points
*

It was originally a Dutch TV show by the hack who created Fear Factor and you are giving him way too much credit.

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4 points

More like there being chemicals that actually fucked up frogs’ genitals but we only ever heard about it through the lens of Alex Jones and “turning the freaking frogs gay [sic]” https://youtu.be/i5uSbp0YDhc

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5 points

Conspiracy theorists are useful idiots.

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1 point

I was gonna conspire, the first step would be to trivialize the idea in the first place.

Not me. That sounds like way too much work. Spending a century or so running skeptic magazines/podcast/book publishers/blogs/whatyou just so i cam sneak my little thing in.

Be easier to just do it.

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2 points

Conspiraception

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6 points

This is why the Denver Airport will always be the best conspiracy.

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