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59 points

I spent thirteen years growing bonsai, fifteen pining over Loravindrel. That brought me into my eight year long emo-goth period which produced poetry I’ve since fed to the flames. For sixteen seasons after that I meditaed under a plum tree and swept the eight hundred and seventy two dozen and five stars. Six years I practiced the letter œ to master the uhm. Fifty seven years I spent in the arms of Madeleine and our oldest grandchild is about your age. And the last three seasons I’ve been chasing the south-western gale that robbed her from me decades too early.

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12 points

Dude, what’s even your job? How did you make a living for 106 years just sitting around?

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10 points

Maybe he’s a trust fund elf from some royal lineage?

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4 points

To those whose lives flicker like a candle in the wind elves are royal and in their societies live free of want.

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9 points

Mom and dad have 900 years of savings in the college fund.

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7 points
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The value markets of men is a circular process of overproduction and scarcity. The bare-essential trinkets of yesteryear can often be exchanged for today’s luxuries.

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