It all started with a tweet about a couch. Within hours of Donald Trump announcing the Ohio senator JD Vance as his running mate in the presidential race, a rather lurid accusation cropped up on social media.

The user of a since-deleted X account wrote last month, “can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181).”

The fake page citation from Vance’s bestselling memoir Hillbilly Elegy lent credibility to what turned out to be a baseless claim, as detailed in a now-removed fact check from the Associated Press. Soon, the internet was awash in memes mocking Vance’s relationship with various pieces of furniture. “I did not have sectional relations,” one X user joked, paraphrasing Bill Clinton’s infamous quote about his extramarital affair. Another user added: “Who hasn’t been excited by the thrill of the chaise?”

Even Kamala Harris’s newly launched presidential campaign appeared to get in on the fun, tweeting: “JD Vance does not couch his hatred for women.”

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28 points

The couch thing might be fiction, but he really did google dolphin porn (who cares about his purported reason).

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16 points

Lmao, what context did they provide for the dolphin porn search? I mean, I know why I do it, I just wondered what reason they gave.

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15 points

Supposedly, he only did it to show people how depraved the internet is.

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13 points

Like all the Qanons trying to get ahold of CSAM for “research.”

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12 points

He reposted it saying “the Internet was a mistake”, probably trying to pass it off as something that just came up when he was scrolling. Think, right wingers ranting about the immorality of big tech, etc. But the screenshot shows he searched for it.

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11 points

Don’t forget the burned monkey testacles

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7 points

You always shake the pan while braizing them in butter.

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9 points

Purpoised reason?

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3 points

(purporpoise reasons)

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