Oklahoma State Superintendent Ryan Walters released guidelines on the state’s controversial Bible mandate in public schools on Wednesday.

In June, Walters ordered educators for grades 5 through 12 to incorporate the Bible into their lessons, arguing that the Bible is necessary to ensure “students grasp the core values and historical context of our country,” he said in a statement at the time.

The order was followed by an intense backlash from civil liberties groups and the Oklahoma Education Association – a collective of educators, administrators and other school employees.

The new guidelines require educators to incorporate the Bible by looking at “only its historical, literary and secular benefits” by noting the Bible’s influence on Western civilization, American history, literature, art and music.

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18 points

And then the guy goes - “This sex-crazed mob wants to fuck these dudes so bad they wouldn’t even rape our daughters instead!”

And that guy . . . was God’s emissary.

So. What can we conclude? Yes - Malcolm.

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14 points

“I’m still reeling from this god sending a fucking bear to just slaughter children for making fun of a bald guy.” - probably Malcolm

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8 points

You haven’t been studying your bible, Malcolm. It was a she bear.

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10 points
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“Wait… You’re telling me it’s okay if, after my mom dies, I get my dad blackout drunk and fuck him to make sibling-children?”

“Well not really okay, just… God won’t have a problem with it. Also since your sister will be doing it too, your sister’s children will be your sibling-niblings. Isn’t that fun?”

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3 points
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“and after their mother died mysteriously in the desert because she wanted to go home, my two virgin daughters got me drunk and they seduced me!

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