my ex-boyfriend sam (19m) of a few years has been my longest relationship (as i’m still young). he ghosted me and i started to lose feelings for him. however, i still had hope.
he also “forgot” about me when he would give gifts to other people, wouldn’t mention me under “people he appreciates” but would mention everyone else, and wouldn’t even tell people abt me.
due to all this, i started to question actually being a lesbian who was only into guys because of comphet.
however, last night, when he finally saw my messages (he doesn’t use social media a lot), he apologized and said he should’ve done something other than ghost his gf. he agreed that we should break up, and said he was being this way due to mental health problems, and that if we got back together, he’d be a better bf.
he explained he still had feelings for me and would love to still be friends.
that’s when i realized that i had genuine feelings for him that were still there, not just comphet. i always loved him and felt sad when it seemed he didn’t love me the same way.
i understand he’s not ready for a relationship rn, and i think he should take his time. i also am not quite ready due to this being so recent and the fact that we haven’t done actual couple stuff in a while.
but after a while, when he gets better, hopefully we’ll still have feelings and both be good partners (better than we were then). after all, even if the not including me thing isn’t an excuse, the ghosting was due to poor mental health which he can’t control.
so i guess i’d also be biromantic with a preference for women.
i hope we can make this work >w<
Just gonna hit you with some hard truths.
He’s not that in to you. If he was he wouldn’t just ignore you (“doesn’t use social media a lot” is not an explanation for not communicating). If he was he would be ready for a relationship rn.
Like most guys his age (myself too, 20 years ago) he likes the idea of you wanting him but he doesn’t actually care about you.
He’s going to do it again, you’re being delusional if you think he will change in the next few years.
Move on.
Girl. Have some dignity and kick him to the curb because it’s clear he’s not really interested in you. He probably wants you on standby in case his dick or his ego need stroking. Don’t make excuses for someone who’s mistreating you, especially at such a young age - you’re just inviting dysfunction. You can and will do better, but not if he’s in the way. Good luck.
Being in poor mental health isn’t an excuse for ghosting. Ghosting suggests he doesn’t value your wellbeing over his own: it’s a pretty cruel thing to do to someone, and deeply selfish. You’re still young. In your shoes, I think I’d explore other relationships before diving back into one with several red flags.
i also notice that although he’s bi, he’d only talk about hot men (especially fictional), wouldn’t mention me to other people, and would talk to me about his crushes as if we were just good friends. he would also try to make moves with some of them, presumably not telling them about me
thanks ❤️ ig cuz it’s so recent and i still harbor some old feelings, i feel like he can change
To answer the question in the title id say
“What issues led to the break up and has that changed. If yes then go for it, if not then no”
After reading the post I’d say
Don’t wait for him. Try and move on. If he wants to get back together later consider it then.
Honestly I’ve had people say that to me as a way to let me down easy rather than actually mean it. Waiting was a mistake.
And I’m not saying he doesn’t mean it, maybe he does. But you’ll love again. You’re young. Grieve the relationship and move on. Judge later if he’s worth getting back together if that happens.
That’s the best advice i can give.
