16 points

She’s a 61 year old lesbian, with two adult kids, married to her wife of ten years. She’s a hugely respected actor who’s a household name, and undoubtedly has a net worth that could probably buy an island. I don’t think you’re gonna crack this nut, homie.

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90 points

In case you missed the joke, this is a reference to how John Hinckley Jr shot Reagan because he thought it would impress Jodie Foster. It’s posted today because of the assassination attempt on Trump yesterday.

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-24 points

Jodie Foster is in her sixties now. The best way to impress a woman like that is by promising to take her to the finest nursing home money can buy.

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3 points

Also, being a lesbian will probably help.

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-1 points

You can impress her by leaving her the fuck alone.

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5 points

/woooosh

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-15 points

Just to be clear, you’re not a stalker? Because that’s really a very stalkery thing to ask.

We just locked up a guy for being stalkery with Holly Willoughby, so…

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32 points

Its a reference to the guy who tried to shoot reagan cause he was obsessed with Jodie Foster.

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2 points

Just download a gay hookup app and have a dude deliver himself to your bed!

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3 points

if that worked jodie foster would be married to half of lemmy by now

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