265 points

But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he’s literally Fortran.

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139 points

“I was born for this!”

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52 points

I was born INTO THIS

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15 points

The heart is blackened.

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16 points

Nominative determinism.

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83 points

He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

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19 points

fucking golf clap

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31 points

Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.

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15 points

I’ve actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.

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8 points

And his sister, the famous arsonist Anita Mcburney.

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21 points

Your dentist’s name is Crentist?

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12 points

Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.

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4 points

“It’s a Fortran system; I know this!”

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187 points

My parents called me Basic.

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58 points

You’re the APL of their eyes

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15 points

Ooh that’s a good one

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174 points

JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

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62 points

Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

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16 points

I understand these references.

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20 points

And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

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17 points

So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

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17 points

Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

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2 points

His name was my name too

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2 points

And he invented JavaScript in a cave, with a box of scraps

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1 point

In 10 days and 10 nights

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133 points

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

“Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I’m scared you’ll be mad at me”

“We’ll still love you no matter what honey.”

“OK, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I’m a frontend developer”

“WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don’t come out until you’ve written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff”

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14 points

Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn’t fortran.

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76 points

My son is also named Fortran.

We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

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32 points

“We’re out of BORT license plates!”

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1 point

When I named my children I made sure to choose names that can always be found in kitschy gift shop items.

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