108 points
*

“When the fuck do they expect me to do this?” Being replaced by “perhaps I should work later” is top tier military satire.

No fucking chance of working late voluntarily. Not paid for it. Only do when told to.

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49 points

My favorite is “Ask me if I give a fuck” being replaced by “Of course I’m concerned!”

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39 points

This feels like a chain email from 2002.

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11 points

I do vaguely remember seeing this during the old web days

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61 points

My favorite part is “Eat shit and die” is addressed to the enlisted (“excuse me” being the replacement) and “Eat shit and die, motherfucker” is addressed to officers (“excuse me, Sir”), because you wouldn’t be saying “sir” to enlisted members.

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9 points

My favorite layer on top of this is that the “excuse me, sir” maps back to “eat shit and die, motherfucker” regardless of intent

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57 points

Aint no way thats real right? Thats like shooter games with blood and death being concerned about swearwords in chat.

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51 points

We were passing this around the office in the 90s as “business etiquette”.

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26 points

It is a very, very old joke. At least 20odd years old.

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13 points

Are you asking if the meme in shitpost is real?

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25 points

A) it’s fake. The specific squadron would be called out explicitly on that memoradum. Paragraph 1 would definitely have to referenced at least 3 AFIs and paragraph 2 would have definitely (especially being an SFS Memo) disclosed punishment via the UCMJ.

B) that copy paste memo indicates it is from a local security forces commander and definitely not the USAF.

I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I figure I’d note the amount of fakery here since there’s always this kind of mythos that lives a long life.

Everything from the supposed sanctioned DOD standard of 7 wipes of a disk (never was a thing – The Orange Book/NISPOM on e referenced a study by Gutmann in the 90s), that basically training issues stress cards to trainees (been a rumor as if fact since the early aughts and I’m sure earlier), that’s there’s a single bullet and 9mm gun at the top of the flag pole at base command, that the Etherbunny was a thing that happened to a friend’s roommate, that the country will take care of you after you serve and perhaps worst of all – Marines don’t literally eat crayons and it is just a joke.

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1 point

See, you invalidated that whole thing with the last line. Every marine has at least bitten a crayon. Some people have allergies.

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7 points

I believed you until the last point, I’ve seen it myself.

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