I genuinely thought getting flirted with was going to be a common thing throughout my life, nope, dead ended straight in highschool except for a few odd ones very sparingly between
Yeah tv lied to me.
I thought I needed to have a bar where all my friends hung out, like in Cheers/Simpsons. Wrong.
I thought I needed a group of friends and we’d all take turns hooking up like Friends/Seinfeld. Wrong.
I thought having a wacky family would be great like Malcolm in the Middle/Family Matters… Okay this kinda worked out.
Who read their old yearbooks while they’re on the toilet? You’re supposed to read them once every few years when you find them while cleaning out storage to move to a new place, bringing all activity to a halt for an hour or who while you drown in nostalgia. You know, like normal people.
See my friend peer pressured me to write, to date, one of the cringiest and worst things I have ever said/written to someone in their yearbook. It’s been nearly 20 years and I still can’t bear to deal with it. I’m so embarrassed by it I don’t even retell the story to my friends (or even my therapist). It keeps me up at night.
So no, please no one ever read your yearbook ever. Burn them all.
And to the person whose yearbook I ruined with my weird fucking comment, I am truly sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve that. I hope you are living your best life.
I remember my sophomore year in High School a friend walked up to me and we got to talking and then they ask “so are you planning anything for homecoming?”. I just replied “nah. I’m not really into football and I think I have to work that night anyway.” And they were like “Okay well cool.”
Fast forward 35 years, I tell this story to a friend and they said “so did they ask you out anyway?” And I was like “No, I… WAIT! Is that what they were getting at? It actually flew over my head? Holy shit!” And it took a whole 35 years before I finally realized it.
In all fairness though, I had a lot going on at that point in my life. My mother two years earlier had passed away from a three year battle with cancer and my father had left us orphan about three weeks later. I was still processing shit with the whole foster care and nobody else in my god forsaken family wanting to take me or my siblings in.
Oh and I never got with the person because like maybe four months later I had to move to another foster family (which side note: I eventually had to leave that other family too because the parents were that weird religious abusive kind and I got pulled during a welfare check to go elsewhere) which meant a change in schools (had to change schools yet again after that second family). Something, something the foster care dad got arrested with a DUI, something something, you can’t keep kids in your house. But you know looking back maybe it was for the best because it would have sucked to have to move after developing emotions for someone.
If she really wanted to go with him, she could have said “that’s okay you don’t need a tuxedo for prom.” Or “that’s okay; my brother has one of those tuxedo tshirts and is about your size.”
You’re only cooked if you choose the latter option and he says “have fun at prom with your older brother.”
What if he’s just making up a reason because he doesn’t like you at all? If you’re weird and pushy he’ll tell everyone! It already took weeks of imagining that interaction and mustering the courage to do it.
No, this plan is a bust. It’s obvious you’re interested; you just asked him out. So if he is too, then he’ll just tell you. Obviously.
Where did you get a copy of my autobiography? I thought I had them all destroyed.
When I was in middle school, a girl who I didn’t know once confessed to me, and I turned her down. I haven’t told anybody this until just now, but literally the only reason I turned her down was that I didn’t drive a car, so I couldn’t see how we could go on a date. It didn’t occur to me until much later that literally nobody in middle school drives a car, and somehow they still date.