4

MySQL moment(lemmy.world)

posted
by
Avatar
devilish666@lemmy.world
in
Avatar
programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
18 comments
hidereport
Sort:
HotTopControversialNewOld
Avatar
BoofStroke@sh.itjust.works
1 point

Yet it’s the sysadmin who gets blamed, not the developer. “How can you tune the database so this doesn’t happen?”

permalink
report
reply
Avatar
Evotech@lemmy.world
1 point

Infinitely this, biggest pet peeve

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
stewie410@programming.dev
1 point

I’m the sysadmin (and transitioning to DevOps) at work, but the DBs are 100% in control of our two devs (one of which being the head of IT).

Apparently we’re going to hire a third Dev, who will moonlight as our DBA – oh, and for 30K/yr.

I’m sure this will go well.

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
1 point

I am telling you this because hopefully it will make you feel a little better. Our head of it blames devs for slow queries.

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
lightnegative@lemmy.world
1 point

Devs who don’t understand how SQL or relational databases work write absolute abortions of queries.

9 times out of 10 - yes it is absolutely the devs. I say that as the dev who gets tasked with analysing why these shitty queries from our low budget outsourced labour are so slow

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
1 point

So you are saying you are the expert in unshitifying queries? What is the most common thing that needs to be unshitified?

permalink
report
parent
reply
Show more comments
Avatar
locuester@lemmy.zip
1 point

In my 30 years of experience, it is usually the devs.

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
1 point

As a dev, yes usually. It is certainly the better starting point.

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
bassomitron@lemmy.world
1 point

At my job, it’s almost always the dev team that is called first for bad DB performance (not always, because sometimes it is the server that’s borked).

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
RagingToad@feddit.nl
1 point

Allergic to Indices? If your database is slow just add more Indices until you have one on every column of every table! :-)

permalink
report
reply
Avatar
GBU_28@lemm.ee
1 point

Hi I need to add some data to the database.

No you fucking don’t

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
14th_cylon@lemm.ee
1 point

So the guy died and decomposed in 10 minutes and somehow it mysql’s fault?

permalink
report
reply
Avatar
OpenStars@startrek.website
1 point

Very big table, complex operations, much waiting, so yeah.

In this comic, bodily decomposition occurs at a “feels like” pace:-).

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
RustyNova@lemmy.world
1 point

Poor guy got sigkill-ed, but MySQL keeps going with the request

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
nxdefiant@startrek.website
1 point

10 minutes for a process is essentially infinity

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
342345@feddit.de
0 points
*

Why do they wait in line for one guy? It’s just a select and there should be multiple employees at the counter, or not?

permalink
report
reply

Programmer Humor

!programmerhumor@lemmy.ml

Create post

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

  • Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
  • No NSFW content.
  • Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.

Community stats

  • 6.8K

    Monthly active users

  • 801

    Posts

  • 7.4K

    Comments

Community moderators