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My been strong, like bear
I had two friends get angry at me (in one case yelling at me, the other storming out of our get together) when I brought up the new regime’s plan to end affirming care and legal recognition for trans folks.
I’m kind of utterly floored - this is widely available information, and in both cases, they were completely dismissive and outright hostile. And both are folks I’ve known for a pretty long time. One is even a trans woman (albeit a rich Caitlyn Jenner type who is totally divorced from what most trans folks experience).
It was a really awful way to end the first vacation I’ve had in years. Icing on the cake is I’m also having some kind of allergic reaction and my face looks awful.
It’s a wild ride. One moment I am in the shower, actually kinda happy with the progress 3 months of hrt have done so far and the next I am having a panix attack not knowing weather all of this is right for me or all in my head. This can happen like 5 to 6 times a day and it sucks. Overall tho I am living in a safe for now country and have a really solid relationship so whatever happens, I am at least not alone.
it’s exhausting, but in my experience it lessens in intensity and frequency over time as you get used to it; it helps to really connect with facts that can ground your decision: you felt happy with the changes, you probably want more changes - that’s all that matters, focusing on those positive feelings can sometimes help
Transitioning kinda sucks, and there’s still a very long way to go. But every day I get more certain that I’m headed in the right direction, and I want more. Even if I am starting to look like my mom.
Visiting home for the holidays. Mixed feelings.
