Basically what the title says, two questions:
- Do you feel lonely or socially isolated?
- If you are, what are you trying to change that?
According to the WHO it’s an epidemic,
I’ve been emigrating to different countries about every 15 years and had to rebuild a network of friends from scratch every time. The younger I was the easier it was obviously. But that is a lot of work and you need to invest time and energy which I sometimes don’t have so much, especially now with a small child which needs a lot of attention.
We meet up as a family with other families about once a month and it’s really great, but while my wife keeps in contact with the other mothers in between online, somehow we dads don’t even have a group chat where we would do that and perhaps propose to meet up, it’s always the women who propose it.
It’s kind of weird that its like that and I should change it.
While the WHO doesn’t call it outright an epidemic, it seems they think it’s such a big problem that they created a specific commission to foster social connection: https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection
T.L;D.R: I used to guilt trip myself into fitting in so I wouldn’t be left out, now I enjoy staying in my little corner, because I went to the shrink.
So, keep in mind I’ve got ADHD, GAD, and SzPD; though I suspect that might’ve been a misdiagnosis due to the psychologist’s explanation of autism, and that instead I might have AuDHD. But I digress. I’ve found that with the years I’ve grown content with being alone, because I’ve come to understand that being alone isn’t necessarily being lonely.
I had written a couple paragraphs, but I’ll make it short. I discovered I spent far too much time and effort trying to fit in with folks I didn’t even like because I didn’t want to feel left out, or worse, different. Cue the pandemic, where I didn’t need to mask anymore during lockdown, a year of therapy, and I’ve come to appreciate solitude as much as I do the precious few times I get to see my friends, since half live abroad. The thing I had a problem with was myself, not other people or the lack thereof.
I get to spend hours homebrewing stuff for my friends and I’s table, painting stuff I’ll never be motivated enough to finish, going down rabbit holes while reading something new, and going from old country to post-hardcore punk. It’s the closest thing to heaven there is, imo.
I don’t have many social interactions apart from people at work and maybe some online friends but it’s rare. Honestly I don’t know what to do about it. Last year I went to a concert for the first time ever and decided to do that at least once a year. I’m going to see Iron Maiden next year, I may not have any close friends but at least I’d have some fun experiences to remember I guess…
Do mutual aid! ❤️
I’m extremely lonely but there’s nothing really to be done. I keep thinking I’m friends with people and then they pull away suddenly. Two of them even started acting like they didn’t remember making plans with me even though the plans were their ideas.
Most people my age turn out to be homophobic and transphobic too, and only like me because they thought I was one of the “cool ones” (read: self-loathing). Or because they mistook me for a straight woman and think they can score.
I don’t really understand people who can form genuine connections. My self esteem is in the toilet and even I won’t put up with that stuff.
Yes. And Blåhajar.
