Basically what the title says, two questions:
- Do you feel lonely or socially isolated?
- If you are, what are you trying to change that?
According to the WHO it’s an epidemic,
I’ve been emigrating to different countries about every 15 years and had to rebuild a network of friends from scratch every time. The younger I was the easier it was obviously. But that is a lot of work and you need to invest time and energy which I sometimes don’t have so much, especially now with a small child which needs a lot of attention.
We meet up as a family with other families about once a month and it’s really great, but while my wife keeps in contact with the other mothers in between online, somehow we dads don’t even have a group chat where we would do that and perhaps propose to meet up, it’s always the women who propose it.
It’s kind of weird that its like that and I should change it.
While the WHO doesn’t call it outright an epidemic, it seems they think it’s such a big problem that they created a specific commission to foster social connection: https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection
Actually yes, I’ve been feeling like that. I heard about https://timeleft.com/ (dinner with strangers) and thought it was such a cool concept. You sign up on the site, answer lots of questions about your personality, and then they have an algorithm that matches you with other people for a dinner somewhere where you live.
I went to one of those and ended up with 5 people, and still are in touch with 4 of them. Playing pool with them in a week. :)
There are many, many people feeling like we do. Just go meet them! I bet you will like it, and if not, it’s just a dinner. Nobody knows your full name so you can easily disappear and never meet those people again if needed.
I felt too lonely so one day I woke up and decided to get a cat. I researched like 3 weeks before my parents finally let me.
My cat didn’t really like me 😓
I mean she tolerates me, sometimes rub against me, and lets me pet her belly, but like, I think thats just being friendly to everyone, she didn’t really like me. Like she just ignores me all the time. Eh whatever, at least she’s cute and lets me pet her.
Didn’t really solve loneliness.
I don’t have a cat but the internet has me believe that this is normal cat behavior - isn’t that true?
RE: cat, Looking directly at a cat or engaging with one directly can be interpreted as an act of aggression. Note that cats do not have the ability to discern species. To the cat, you are one of these things: food; enemy; a bigger cat with less hair. If you ignore the cat, it will assume you are not a threat. It may warm up to you faster this way. Some cats are just jerks too.
I was feeling disconnected from my friends for quite a while. I find I have a hard time keeping up with people, and that usually ends up meaning I am no one’s best friend.
I’ve done two things:
- Organised a (mostly) weekly poker night (not for money but for snacks). Any board game would work. It gets us in the same room and we have a grand old time. This is the highlight of my week. It really helped to have something to look forward to each week when I was feeling depressed and meaningless.
- Started sending my two closest friends one (1) meme per day tailored to them specifically. It’s rare for me to message anyone, but this keeps me in contact, even if it’s basically like a poke on Facebook. It keeps me fresh in their heads. It usually ends up sparking a convo about this or that. It’s led to me being invited to a couple of fun events, which feels really nice, because for a while there I was barely invited to anything.
These two things, while simple, have greatly increased my mood and has gotten me much closer with my friends than I was before, as I had drifted apart from them.
I’m extremely lonely but there’s nothing really to be done. I keep thinking I’m friends with people and then they pull away suddenly. Two of them even started acting like they didn’t remember making plans with me even though the plans were their ideas.
Most people my age turn out to be homophobic and transphobic too, and only like me because they thought I was one of the “cool ones” (read: self-loathing). Or because they mistook me for a straight woman and think they can score.
I don’t really understand people who can form genuine connections. My self esteem is in the toilet and even I won’t put up with that stuff.
I don’t have many social interactions apart from people at work and maybe some online friends but it’s rare. Honestly I don’t know what to do about it. Last year I went to a concert for the first time ever and decided to do that at least once a year. I’m going to see Iron Maiden next year, I may not have any close friends but at least I’d have some fun experiences to remember I guess…
