305 points

They don’t think we’re open minded and understanding.

They think we’re ignorant of how the world works, condescending, and irrationally judgemental.

I’m not saying this is how we ARE, this is just how they view us, and because they view us like that from the very start, there is no opportunity for meaningful dialogue.

It is bi-directional prejudice, and only by acts of understanding and patience and wisdom can that be overcome.

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140 points

Agreed, for the most part. I’m never going to be impartial and seek understanding with a racist Nazi. They will have to understand my fist.

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0 points

What if the angle would be that you understand the underlying needs and feelings that are being expressed as support for Nazism?

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5 points
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“Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed.

That word is “Nazi.” Nobody cares about their motives anymore.

They joined what they joined. They lent their support and their moral approval. And, in so doing, they bound themselves to everything that came after. Who cares any more what particular knot they used in the binding?”

― A.R. Moxon

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3 points

What if you showed us evidence for that actually working in any meaningful sense, in order to stop people enabling fascists?

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67 points

Pretty true, obviously most racist biggots don’t see themselves as racist biggots. They don’t see us as “open minded” they see us as close minded to their views.

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76 points

Depends on the person. I’ve been told to my face without a hint of irony that “you’re so open minded all your brains fell out”.

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25 points

I spent most of my childhood being repeatedly informed by my incredibly Republican family that I lack common sense.

Yet, I have the common sense to know that if you let people do whatever the fuck they want to do with their own bodies and lives then they’ll stay the fuck out of your body and your life.

Perhaps that is an uncommon sense. However, it should be a common sense but the people who claim to have common sense fail to understand that consistently.

Maybe common sense is not all it’s cracked up to be.

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7 points

Being convinced to give a shit about other people just shows that you’re gullible, to them.

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1 point

Back in my teens, a Seventh Day Adventist said that to me. I got the better deal in life.

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27 points

And, their views typically do not include the things that most of the people I know hate the most about the platform that they ascribe to.

They just think being Republican will make them wealthier or fix problems in the country or make the world a better place.

The single issue voters have an opinion on a single issue and everything else doesn’t matter compared to that one thing.

They don’t care about all of the bad as long as the single bit of good can be accomplished, and they don’t care if you think that single bit of good is a bad thing.

They don’t care to talk to or be dissuaded by their family members who are not approaching them with a spirit of love and care for them.

Beside that, it’s not mentally or emotionally healthy to live spring-loaded with ontological traps that can be fired off with a single phrase to bring down judgment and the fires of hell on the people you meet.

They’re not going to want to hear you if that’s what you’re bringing to the table.

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27 points

Of course, after Trump in the white house, it’s kinda irrelevant.

Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed.
That word is “Nazi.” Nobody cares about their motives anymore.
They joined what they joined. They lent their support and their moral approval. And, in so doing, they bound themselves to everything that came after. Who cares any more what particular knot they used in the binding?

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36 points

Yeah, ‘compassionate and nonviolent’ is translated to “judgmental cuck” in their language.

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22 points

They think we’re ignorant of how the world works, condescending, and irrationally judgemental.

Lol. Yep Though in fairness, I am genuinely judging them so fucking hard.

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10 points

Hi,

Person struggling to still call self conservative. I don’t like lefties either - they hear the world “conservative” and thing MAGA Nazi shitheads immediately. And they are constantly condescending and judgmental, yes.

But that doesn’t change the fact that if you voted for Trump, you are either a piece of shit or you’re stupid.

It also doesnt mean that we who can understand Trump has now determined he can and will abuse his power shouldn’t try to dialogue with Trump voters without being shitty to them. You’re not going to turn a vote (if there still is one next time) by being an asshat. Just make sure they’re not hardcore Trump diehards because time is precious.

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32 points

Hi!

A while back I myself made the sometimes painful journey from a conservative to the progressive I consider myself now. I know you didn’t ask, but here’s some stuff to keep in mind.

The internet has no place for subtlety. People desperately want the dopamine rush that comes from righteous fury, defending one’s viewpoint and crushing those who disagree. It’s true of a lot of people, and I’ll be honest, I’m guilty of it on occasion. It just feels so damn good to be right.

But in my experience, most people in life don’t really act that way. I mean, in high school I occasionally got shit on by people who were “lefties,” but I was usually asking for it. More generally, people were much more likely to ask me questions and discuss our differences. They may have been judging me, but I never got that vibe. It’s just easier to see the person you’re talking to as a fellow human in person. And those people were integral in helping me realize that a lot of the stuff I was seeing online about feminazis and whatnot was simply more rage product, designed to get that part of the brain pumping and let me feel good and superior to someone else.

Removed from the left vs right rage online, I found that it became increasingly difficult to call myself “conservative.” Not because I was worried about how people would think of me, but rather because the more people I met and the more I learned about the world, the harder it was to reconcile what I knew with the views I had held. And when I would try to provide context or data to my fellow conservatives, they refused to listen. Anything that didn’t reinforce the views they held, they didn’t want to hear.

So much of what I thought I knew about “lefties” was from online takes and screenshots that others shared, but none of that matched my experience with real people in real life. And I’ve been so grateful I had the chance to spend time with people with significantly different lived experiences from my own who didn’t shun me for my views but were friendly and helped me become a more empathetic person.

Of course, this goes both ways. The average conservative doesn’t want to kill gay people or black people. They aren’t represented by the extremes either. Generally speaking, people just want to live their lives. I truly think one of the biggest differences between progressive and conservative mindsets is about how many people whose lives are different from your own you’ve gotten to know. It helps us be less afraid of one another. It’s part of why densely populated areas tend to be more progressive, I think.

Anyway, I wish you luck in your journey. Hope you didn’t mind my musing here!

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5 points
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Deleted by creator
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29 points
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Here’s my problem with the “not all conservatives” mind frame: Nazis and maga have security attached themselves onto conservatives, and conservatives who “aren’t those guys” aren’t doing anything to eradicate those parasites.

If you have 10 conservatives and 1 Nazi at the dinner table, you have 11 Nazis.

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18 points

I agree with the Nazi statement.

I did try to eradicate them. I voted Harris. The fact that so many people voted Trump after seeing what he did is what makes me question calling myself a conservative.

But I’m just some person in a some county in some state. I’m not a registered Democrat or Republican. Other than voting, I’m not sure what I /can/ do

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2 points

It is bi-directional prejudice, and only by acts of understanding and patience and wisdom can that be overcome.

Those acts need to be bidirectional too. And guess what?

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118 points

Replace the second panel red with “woke and gay”

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44 points

Just “woke” actually.

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37 points

that’s why the word was invented, to replace the obvious intolerance for openness

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9 points

Hahahah that’s what they want you to think. Woke is from like the 60s. Do some research on it. It’s pretty interesting.

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2 points

It’s why the word was co-opted by the Far Right, and popularised as an insult. Otherwise they’d have to say “kind”.

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2 points

It actually comes from African-American culture and has a history that’s several decades old.

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13 points

I still haven’t looked into what “woke” actually means, but from what I can tell, it seems to mean anything far-right people don’t like.

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16 points

In left-leaning spaces it means “cognizant of the injustice pervading society”. On the right it means “uppity”.

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8 points
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Yeah, seems like “woke” is anything we’re not supposed to approve of this month.

I do find the word “woke” incredibly useful.

The moment the word exits someone’s mouth (as a complaint), I save a ton of energy on how to handle any further information they share (highly suspect).

Edit: I’ve actually discovered some great art and culture by being warned away from it’s “wokeness”, too.

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15 points

Hey buddy! I may be woke. And I may be gay! And… What was the third thing you called me?

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4 points

Also there is no way the second dude isn’t going. He’s going and hes going to bs and eat and drink beer and belch, no matter who else is going to be there.

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1 point

If it’s anything like my brothers family they’ll be the first ones in line for food and the first ones to leave too.

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2 points

That’s probably being kind compared to what would be said if it actually were a problem.

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1 point

Is that this generations version of “fake and gay”?

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1 point

Yup they think they are the open minded ones or whomever doesn’t immediately fall down to them and refer to their words as gospel as not open minded or interested in ‘a discussion’.

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69 points
*

Be me

Liberal uncle in conservative/ trump family

Fly to red state for family member’s funeral

Get made fun of by all family members in public at the funeral reception

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57 points

My grandma never met you. She lived to be 103, and died last October (2023).

My grandma loved you. She wanted you to do well, and be happy. Just as she did with everyone on earth. It’s physically impossible for her to host a dinner big enough to feed everyone on earth. But the logistical impossibility is the only reason she didn’t do it.

My cousin is a lesbian. She had been married to a decent man, had two kids. Good family man. Married for nearly 10 years before she discovered she was lesbian. The breakup was civil. He did nothing wrong. They both still loved each other, and loved the kids. He was still welcome at the table, as was my cousins new partner. My cousins mom was NOT accepting. When my aunt tried making a scene, my grandma said “Melinda…I won’t have hate at this table. You love your daughter. I don’t ask you to agree with your daughters lifestyle. But I do ask you do not bring hate into my home.”

My grandma was a teacher in her 20s. She lived in a small but growing suburb, and essentially raised the whole town. She got promoted several times as the years went on. Eventually being the district superintendant. She LITERALLY was responsible for raising thousands of kids, who were everywhere from the boomer generation to the millenials.

She had a simple philosophy. Which was that she loved you. She would put aside the world to hear what you had to say. My grandpa used to joke that when WWII broke out, she was having tea with the neighbors and helping raise their kids. Just discussing the day. Choas and war breaking out across the globe, but she was determined to hear about you. And for the kids, she would teach them that everybody was different, and we need to love everybody for who they are. Not who you want them to be.

And she loved everyone. Even you. Even though she never met you. She always said “Everyone is welcome in this home, as long as they take off their hat at the dinner table, leave hate out of their hearts, and tell me about their day.”

The only time I ever remember her saying anything negative, was somebody had said during trumps first term something he was doing in office.

Her reply was “I just do not like that man.”

AIRHORNS!!!

I know that sounds so non-aggressive, but for her to say she didn’t like someone would be like a world leader declairing WWIII. The room literally went quiet.

So I try to live my life to keep making Gram proud. Accept everyone, even if you disagree with them. You can’t just accept those you get along with, and not create an echo chamber.

So if you’re ever in Cleveland, you can have a meal with me. And maybe when you fly out of state to be with family, you can teach them about letting the hate go.

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16 points

Your grandma sounds like a wonderful human who lived a wonderful life. I hope you are doing well.

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7 points

She’s my hero in life.

My dad is a loud stubborn alcoholic. Someone who just forces his way into being “right”. Two of my three aunts would just bicker and fight. The third aunt would usually be reading a book, or watching a documentary. She had 3 masters degrees.

From those 4 children my grandma had came 4 different families. With that, meant that back in the 90s, when everybody was still alive, but before the great grandkids came, meant that there could be roughly 40 people in this small condo, which was essentially just one medium sized open plan living room, and a seperate kitchen.

So you’d have my dad barking orders at someone, my aunts fighting amongst themselves. Uncles loudly argueing sports. Grandkids all running around, doing cartwheels, jumping off the couch. Basically a lot of noise and chaos in a very small space.

And then my grandma would very quietly say “Excuse me”.

Whole room stops. Dead silent. Room full of respect. And with a hushed voiced, barely louder than a whipsper she would ask “would someone check on the potatoes? I wouldn’t like them to burn.”

14 people, her kids, grandkids, the uncles, all rush the kitchen, and checking potatoes. Like it only takes one person to do that. I get that. But the uncles are the only people she didn’t have a major part of raising, and even they respect her. Most of them met her when they were older teenagers. So she very much had the whole neighborhood mom thing going on in the 50s/60s.

But just imagine how that works. Room full of chaos comes to a dead silent stop because a woman in her 80s wants to make sure everyone gets a baked potato, and mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes.

Doesn’t matter what she wanted. If gram wanted something, the world stops for her. And I was 40 years old last year when she died. I never once heard her yell. Yet the idea of her needing to is completely foreign to me. Because EVERYONE wanted to make sure her every need was met. Not through fear, but from a place of love and respect. She had taught us life lessions since most of us were born.

That’s why I don’t use past tense. It’s not that she “was” my hero. She IS my hero. Now and forever.

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3 points

Your grandma sounds like a terrific human being. Sorry to hear that she has passed. Thanks for sharing.

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27 points

Ugh, everyone has that non-racist uncle nobody likes to see at family gatherings!

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26 points

He always stays sober and doesn’t join in the violent and racist tirade

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1 point

You can, in fact, choose your family. You literally do not need them in your life.

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61 points

Don’t you just hate it when people are compassionate and nonviolent? Hand me my gun

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33 points

FAFO will include some people learning that compassionate doesn’t always imply nonviolent

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46 points

Non-conservarives: I don’t want to associate with people who voted for a bigot.

Conservatives: Wow, so much for the tolerant left! I guess we all were not fam in the klerb!

This was basically a Facebook post o saw someone post. Like, how can you, with a straight face, say shit like “I guess we aren’t all fam in the klerb” when you voted for the one kicking people out of the damn klerb?

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31 points

What’s a klerb lol

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19 points

Nm, what’s a klerb with you?

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9 points

Redneck for club. Similar to “they’re stealing our jerbs!”

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3 points

But, a meme, and not redneck at all.

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5 points
*

A recently viral line from Broad City. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/in-da-clurb-we-all-fam

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2 points

Broad city is still being produced?

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3 points

about tree fiddy

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2 points

DAMNED LOCH NESS MONSTAH

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2 points

Klerb deez nutz ex-dee

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