This happens in Germany.
Work culture doesn’t fit my personality: I don’t talk much, I keep to myself, I simply want to do my job and go home, I separate my personal life from work, my colleagues are full fledged gossips, ignore the duties that need to be done and then expect me to help them when they are late. I don’t have patience for that crap anymore.
Due to internal regulations, I have to stay on the unit for 4 weeks after sending my notice. Answering honestly the question of why I’m quitting would ensure that they yell at me and bully me, and I don’t want to experience that again. Even saying ‘it’s none of your business’ ensures that they feel insulted and start yelling. I have decided I don’t have patience for people like that anymore.
So, what do I say?
Start telling a long and rambling story that in no way relates. Keep talking until interrupted.
A bearded stranger told me to throw away a ring.
I need to move to Frisia to cater for my ailing mother.
I need a sabbatical. Canada maybe or New Zealand. A retreat to a monastery also sounds nice. I will rebuild an old farm house. Something along these lines. :)
It doesn’t have to be the truth, or does it?
“You! You’re the reason I’m quitting. Yeah, you’re just kind of a shithead, you never do anything, you just kinda run your mouth all day long and I can’t fucking stand it. Like an unbuttered piece of toast thinking it’s interesting…”