I have always struggled with self-esteem, especially when it comes to RSD. To cope, I’ve found that repeating certain positive affirmations like “I can do anything,” “I’m awesome,” etc. helps me feel more confident in myself. It’s not about being arrogant, but more like a mental trick to push through my insecurities and feel better in the moment.
The thing is, some people around me are starting to accuse me of being a narcissist because of it. I’ll admit, part of me does enjoy the attention that comes with these affirmations, and for a while, I just leaned into it. But now it feels like it’s spiraling a bit out of control. I’m wondering if I’ve crossed some line between self-empowerment and self-centeredness.
I don’t want to seem arrogant or like I’m trying to manipulate anyone, but I really don’t know how else to keep my confidence up. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you manage the fine line between boosting your self-esteem and coming off as narcissistic, especially when dealing with ADHD or autism?
“narcissistic” has become the go to word for meaning ‘doesn’t completely hate themselves’ so I wouldn’t worry unless it’s coming from people who do not get their worldview from reddit and tik tok
I think it might be on the same spectrum as “narcissism”, maybe similar underlying psychological mechanisms, but I think there’s a line that narcissism crosses when it’s to the point of ignoring/degrading everyone else around you. For you, it sounds like it’s more about boosting your own self-confidence, not excluding or disregarding others and putting your own self first, like if you were to start putting other people down just to boost your own self-confidence. I think narcissists may have the same sort of self-confidence issue, but how they go about pumping themselves up is what makes them toxic personalities.
Based on what you’ve described though, it doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re doing. It may come across as arrogant to others, and I think that’s what they’re conflating with narcissism.
Narcissisism isn’t a bad thing as long as it is known and controlled for.
You feel good because you say good things about yourself? Rock on.
Others feel bad because you say good things about yourself? What is their problem?
That is not a normal reaction.
Friends should lift up friends at least in equal amounts to how much they are lifted by said friend.
As long as you are being a good friend to your friends it should not negatively affect them when you say good things about yourself. Of course, it would not hurt if you tempered that by saying good things about them as well.
Lift up all the homies
I totally get what you mean. Your concerns are valid. Being too self centered is a real problem, and it hurts our already fragile social relationships. I agree with what the others have said here, and I would add that I think self-love is a virtue in the middle of the spectrum between no confidence and too much confidence. Self care would be an Aristotelian virtue, a golden mean between two extremes.
Keeping oneself healthy and happy also allows us to tend to the needs and desires of others without overextending. It would be a disservice to oneself and others to fall into disrepair.
No narcissist has ever asked themselves if they are being narcissistic.
If you didn’t twist the narcissistic accusations back onto the accuser you aren’t a narcissist. They are just overfitting the term.
It sounds like what you’re ultimately doing is a form of faking it until you make it. There is nothing wrong with that.
If people think you’re arrogant or a narcissist for repeating affirmations, that’s about them. It could be jealousy steaming from them not being brave enough to follow your lead.
