35 points

Actually, it sounds like you were lawfully arrested.

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31 points
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No way he’s getting 7 years just for using a passport as ID and not having plates. What did he do?

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42 points

The “passport” is the fake American State National passport that they, no word of a lie, get from a moonshine distillery equipment website.

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20 points

I would be outstanding warrants are a part of it.

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19 points

Soverie forgot to mention the pound of meth in the backseat.

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18 points
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10/01/24 some younger PD pulled me over and, YADDA YADDA YADDA, literally kidnapped me into their admiralty to sum it up.

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8 points

But you yadda yadda’d over the best part…

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4 points

Unfortunately, I think our intrepid SovCit is all out of bisque.

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2 points

At least yadda yadda yadda made the most sense.

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4 points

well the police stopped him 7 times while he was driving

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23 points

I really like this one. It takes us right up to the threshold of prison time. Icing on the cake would be a courtroom video, but I don’t really need it. We all know how it goes.

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19 points

They should just get specialists into court proceedings with these people to just bombard them with the most complex legalese in absolute detail.

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28 points
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Removed by mod
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13 points

I meant in addition to the lawyer … the added specialist would just be some kind of academic with a great detailed knowledge of archaic laws and regulations who could just cite obscure codes, legalese, regulations and explanations going all the way back to Ancient Greece and the Babylonians - their job would be just to calmly answer back to the Sovcit with ever more complex explanations and jargon.

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9 points

I meant in addition to the lawyer … the added specialist would just be some kind of

Mental health professional!

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5 points
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6 points

Doesn’t work. Trying to parse a sentence that is more than ten words in length, their brain would just throw an OutOfMemoryException, output a bunch of “I do not consent” lines, and immediately return to the index page of Black’s Law Dictionary.

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2 points
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You are lucky if they can provide a PD who reads at a 6th grade level

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9 points

Sucks to suck.

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