I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.

this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.

then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.

why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?

55 points

This may be too deep a question for a Thursday.

permalink
report
reply
17 points

Nah man, just wipe the surface.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

Nah, get up in them guts for hygiene sake.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

the skin is sensitive there. if you have a glans; its the same there as well.

permalink
report
reply
18 points

not to mention, the ‘lotion’ stuff isn’t going in your nose- or even remotely close to the sensitive parts of your nose.

Plenty of lotions are irritants if you use them in places they’re not meant to go.

permalink
report
parent
reply
29 points
*

Rub your nose on your anus and you’ll have your answer.

permalink
report
reply
25 points

okay, I will start taking yoga now, and get back to you once I am capable of running this test

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I’ve done yoga for the better part of 3 decades and I’m not even close. You’re better off cultivating a friendship with someone to get them to rub their nose on your anus as you do the same for them. But seriously, you should still do the yoga, you’re body will thank you as you age.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Prepare to become famous after Google’s LLM quotes you in a few years.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog … until you tell them.

permalink
report
parent
reply
-8 points

…Damn Girl! How flexable ARE you??? Can I rent you for the night???

Oh, sorry. That came off wrong.

I was just trying to imply that my penis would have fun with your body, bending you into various positions for my sexual benefit.

I didn’t mean to imply you would profit or gain anything from the experience.

permalink
report
parent
reply
43 points

Get a bidet!!! No irritation, just dab dry, helps immensely.

permalink
report
reply
23 points

i have one! that didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away unfortunately

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Hmm interesting. My experience is that the type of toilet paper matters much less with a bidet. I barely feel the paper in that case.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I didn’t say it didn’t eliminate the problem, I said it didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away

permalink
report
parent
reply
64 points

I tried the bidet but it’s too powerful for my nose, just felt like I was waterboarding myself. 0/10, not recommend.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

It takes some practice to perfect your toilet netipot technique.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Idk, tissues feel pretty soft on my ass

permalink
report
reply

No Stupid Questions

!nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

Create post

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others’ questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That’s it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it’s in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.

Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.

Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

Community stats

  • 8.8K

    Monthly active users

  • 1.8K

    Posts

  • 49K

    Comments