The question that everyone has been dying to know has been answered. Finally! What will scientists study next?

230 points

The theorem holds true. The theorem states that the monkey has infinite time, not just the lifetime of our universe.

That’s just lazy science to change the conditions to make sensational headlines. Bad scientists!

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107 points

This just in: scientists disprove validity of thought experiment; philosophers remain concerned that they’ve missed the point.

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2 points
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The universe is the cage and we are the monkeys. We have already written Hamlet.

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37 points

It also makes a pretty bold claim about us actually knowing the lifespan of the universe.

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8 points

How are they defining the end of the universe?

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28 points

Probably very shortly after dinner has been served at that restaurant.

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16 points

The universe is believed to end just a few nanoseconds before a monkey finishes writing Hamlet.

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10 points

Heat death would be my assumption, so between about 10^100 and 10^106 years

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0 points

We know such an infinitesimally small amount about what is actually happening in the universe that any claims to be capable of predicting it’s end are patently absurd.

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4 points

That’s not bold, we’ve known how long the universe will last for decades now.

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-5 points

Just because someone tells you something, doesn’t mean they actually know what they’re talking about. fyi

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11 points

the monkey has infinite time

Use an infinite number of monkeys instead?

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-25 points
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Infinite time is undefined though. We are not sure there was time before the Big Bang. Before anyone says “but there must have been,” consider that it’s just as paradoxical and mind blowing to imagine that time never had a beginning and just stretches infinitely into the past. How can that be so? It means it would have taken an infinite amount of time for us to reach this moment in time, and that means we never would have.

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50 points

Infinite time is perfectly defined, it just doesn’t exist in our universe

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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13 points

Why must the concept of time before the big bang (or after our heat death) exist in our physical reality for us to speculate about theoretical infinities past those? The thought experiment is about infinite time, not all the time in our limited universe. A lot of things happen at infinity that break down as soon as you add a limit, but we’re not talking limits when we’re talking infinity.

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4 points

I think the implications behind there being infinite time in the past are fun if you assume that the universe works like a stochastic state machine. It means that either every finite event that has happened and will happen has already happened an infinite number of times or the universe is infinitely large.

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94 points
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Deleted by creator
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11 points

Infinite monkeys would produce everything in the time that it would take to type it out as fast as anyone can type, infinite times. There would also be infinite variations of slower versions, including an infinite number of versions where everything but the final period is written, but it never gets added (same with every other permutation of missing characters and extra ones added).

There would be infinite monkeys that only type one of Shakespeare’s plays or poems, and infinite monkeys that type some number greater than that, and even infinite monkeys that type out plays Shakespeare wanted to write but never got around to, plus infinite fan fictions about one or more of his plays.

Like infinite variations of plays where Juliette kills Hamlet, Ceasar puts on a miraculous defense and then divides Europe into the modern countries it’s made up of today, Romeo falls in love with King Lear, and Transformers save the Thundercats from the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles who were brainwashed to think they were ancient normal samurai lizards. Some variations having all of that in the same play.

That’s the thing about infinity. If there’s any chance of something happening at all, it happens infinite times.

Even meta variants would all happen. Like if there’s any chance a group of monkeys typing randomly on typewriters could form a computer, there would be infinite variations of that computer in that infinite field of monkeys, including infinite ones that are trying to stimulate infinite monkeys making up a computer to verify that those monkeys make up a valid computer worth building and don’t have some bug where the temperature gets too high and melts some of the monkeys or the food delivery system isn’t fast enough to keep up and breaks down because monkeys get too tired to keep up with necessary timings.

BUT, even though all of these would exist in that infinite sea of monkeys, there would be far more monkeys just doing monkey things. So many more that you could spend your whole lifetime jumping to random locations within that sea of monkeys and never see any of the random organization popping out, despite an infinite number of monkeys and societies of monkeys dedicating their whole existence to making sure you, specifically, can find them (they might be too busy fighting off the infinite number of monkeys and societies of monkeys dedicating their lives to prevent you from ever finding non-noise in the sea of monkeys).

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5 points

Yeah sure, they’ll probably also have typed all posts on Lemmy, including those that have not been posted yet.

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2 points

If those monkeys existed there is an infinite chance you are right.

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61 points

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times??

You stupid monkey!

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7 points

I knew this would be a waste of time! *loads gun

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3 points

I can’t remember the author or title, but that was the idea for a story I once read.

God sends an angel and the monkeys to do the job. They get close, but when the angel is doing the final read through he sees "…to be, or not to beee, Damn the ‘E’ key is sticking. " And they have to start over

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53 points
*

So, while the Infinite Monkey Theorem is true, it is also somewhat misleading.

Is it though? The Monkey Theorem should make it understandable how long infinity really is. That the lifetime of the universe is not long enough is nothing unexpected IMHO, infinity is much (infinitely) longer. And that’s what the theorem is about, isn’t it?!

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4 points

Except the lifetime of the universe is quite small when compared to infinity, so it doesn’t really convey how large infinity is because it’s so much more.

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14 points

They don’t convey the same information.

Infinity isn’t really an amount of something.

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13 points
> typeof Infinity
'number'

Riddle me that, smart guy.

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1 point

Yes I know, but I was just trying to put into the perspective the person I was replying to.

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44 points

This is clownery, humanity is infinite monkeys, and we wrote Hamlet ages ago.

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4 points

Are they arguing it wasn’t random though? I mean Shakespeare had to think through the plot and everything, not just scribble nonsense on a page

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5 points

The thought experiment suggests that over a long enough period of time, every possible combination of letters would be typed out on a keyboard, including Hamlet.

They are not arguing about randomness, as it is inherent to the thought experiment. Randomness is necessary for the experiment to occur.

They are arguing that the universe would be dead before the time criteria is met. It is a bitter and sarcastic conclusion to the thought experiment, and is supposed to be funny.

In conversation, it would be delivered like this:

“You know, over a long enough period of time, monkeys smashing typewriters randomly would eventually produce Hamlet”

“The universe isn’t going to last that long.”

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4 points

Nobody asked but I had to share this

It’s important to me that everyone understands the joke, even if that understanding robs them of the joy of it. “Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. It kills it”.

But it’s important because I suffered a lot of being left out as a kid. Others found how good it felt to be exclusive, and shoulder me out of things, or refuse to explain things, or whatever it was that made me the outcast. I could tell from their faces that they love the way it felt when they did that to me. But it hurt me a lot.

I don’t want there to be any exclusivity anymore. Nobody deserves that pain. I want everyone to understand the joke, even if that prevents them from ever laughing at it.

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1 point

Everyone keeps forgetting that we’re all just what monkeys evolved into…

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11 points

Actually, both monkeys and us are what our common ancestors evolved into. Which was neither a human nor a monkey.

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