-7 points
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https://www.propublica.org/article/texas-noncitizen-voter-roll-removal-mary-howard-elley

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105 points

And she seethed at the idea that anyone would question the citizenship of a former federal employee with the “whitest name you could have.”

Couldn’t have happened to a better racist.

She should count herself lucky that they can’t deport her.

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20 points

Yet. That’s why Trump was talking about the Alien Sedition Act. Once invoked, anyone can be deported with no due process at all.

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16 points

But the leopards weren’t supposed to eat my face!

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10 points

She would be saved because no other country would take her. Unless Russia decides to claim her.

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22 points

The whitest name I can think of off the top of my head is Winthrop Merriweather. And I’d put money on that person being from the UK, not an American.

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7 points

Dick Whiteman

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2 points

Alastair Chadwick Cunningham-Smyth IV

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5 points

White Dickman

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10 points

Pffft. I can think of whiter names.

Femke Lænstrom. Jon Øscheid. Becky McBeckface.

(Don’t take me too seriously.)

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7 points

Kåre Häkkinen O’Leary

That’s Danish/Norwegian, Finnish, and Irish combined.

That’s a person so white they’d need to put on sun block to go outside when there’s a full moon

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4 points

Benedict Cumberbatch.

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39 points

It’s ok for this to happen to other people but not me! I’m special!

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30 points

Literally the foundation of conservative “political ideology”.

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23 points

Whitest name? Mary? Like the middle eastern woman who supposedly gave birth to Jesus?

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19 points
*

100% guaranteed she believes in a white Jesus and would go into apoplectic conservative rage if you pointed out good 'ol Jebus was brown

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13 points

Not to be confused with the most common name. World wide, the single most common first name is Mohammad. The single most common last name is Wong. Therefore, the most common name globally must be Mohammad Wong.

It’s simple statistics!

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3 points
*

I think you meant to say that she should count herself lucky that they won’t deport her. Because if the system flagged her as a non-citizen, then the system deems her deportable.

But yes, yes, I know what you mean. In the end she’s American, so she’s “undeportable.”

But it would be hilarious if that happened. And then watch her sue her very own people.

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4 points

I also mean that they couldn’t deport her even if they wanted. I don’t know any country that would accept receiving a deported person if that person is not one of their citizens unless they get paid for it (like UK was going to pay Uganda).

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1 point

Oh that makes sense.

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3 points

I am an American citizen living in Germany and I have a name that sounds so German that people regularly joke about it (though tbf, my maiden name does not).

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2 points
*

Five bucks says she was only a contractor or she’d still be taking advantage of the fact that federal employees are notoriously difficult to get rid of - even (especially) if they’re shit at their job.

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84 points

she had been flagged after she indicated that she was not a U.S. citizen in response to a jury summons

She claimed non-citizenship as a way to get out of jury duty??? Bwahahahaahaha! This just keeps getting better.

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45 points

Nothing quite like a conservative facing the consequences for trying to avoid one of their very few civic duties. God, what a bunch of fucking parasites.

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21 points

Sooooo… she totally deserves the consequences of her actions!!

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2 points

She was just being sarcastic!!!

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10 points

The retired Transportation Security Administration agent was confused by how the county could come to that conclusion.

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9 points

So this woman chose to not only not sit on a jury where her racism would be likely to convict an innocent person, but also took herself out of the voting process?

Can all conservatives be like her?

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18 points

Finds out what it’s like to be persecuted wrongly. Votes for Trump. Didn’t learn a damn thing.

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4 points

They just say “but other people deserve to be persecuted”.

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24 points

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4 points

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