It’s been a long ol time since I’ve known any lesbians well enough to ask such things, but I followed my brain down a weird line of inquiry, and got to wondering about the current state of the art for the gay gals. I guess I had always assumed it was similar to the dynamics of a gay guy relationship, but then I realized that since men have both an input and an output, they can choose, but it’s mechanically a bit different for cis women. Is there any relationship between that, and the slightly more masculine versus feminine flavors? Asking for a friend, who is me. I want to know. Thanks.

88 points

Hi! Not strictly a lesbian here but in a lesbian relationship. Yes, lesbians have top/bottom dynamics typically in the “one doing the action” vs the “one being acted upon” across various different acts. Most switch it up (“vers”), rather than identifying primarily as tops or bottoms. If you are strictly a top or strictly a bottom, you’re described as “stone” as in “stone top” or “stone bottom”.

Very important that these are completely different roles than dominant/submissive/switch, which are BDSM terms and describe a more psychological aspect of a relationship than the more physical top/bottom/vers.

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27 points

I always wondered where Steve Austin got his name from.

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3 points

I always assumed it was his nickname from when he worked at the creamery.

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3 points

Nope. Turns out he’s just a very inflexible lesbian. Who knew?

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8 points

Whatever you say, Stone Cold Growsomethinggood

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66 points

I suppose this question better than the previous generation’s “So which one of you is the man?”

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40 points

I’m very much a lesbian and can confirm we are flatlanders. I get left and right, front and back, but top and bottom? Completely foreign concepts.

Seriously though. It seems to me very popular among young lesbians to talk about tops and bottoms, but I’m a bit older (around 40) and that was never really a thing for me or the people around me.

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25 points

Fascinating. Are you able to rotate axially parallel to your allowed dimensions of travel, or does this require some degree of bi-curiosity to accomplish?

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16 points

I can no more do this than you can freely move through a fourth spatial dimension

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16 points

I read this in Mr. Spock’s voice.

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9 points

This is awesome! I am adding in bridge sci-fi noises. Data also works.

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39 points

Kinda? It kinda permeated in through gay men, trans lesbians, and the kink community and developed a meaning of active partner with a dominant implication. So for example if I go down on my girlfriend before she returns the favor, it probably wouldn’t be called topping. But if I’m three fingers into a pillow princess as she calls me “Miss” you bet your ass that was topping. So it’s definitely more vibes based as versatility is assumed unless otherwise specified (and not being versatile is kinda rare)

It also can refer to who’s wearing the strap at the moment.

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11 points

Cool. God I love the nomenclature so much. I think I’m just jealous, because we don’t really have any fun terminology over here in Straight Vanilla Land. Explain Pillow Princess immediately.

Also, while I have you: can you put into words the appeal of a strap-on in a lesbian relationship/encounter? I’m all for it, but It just seems like more work to achieve what you could using your hands, and neither party is usually into dicks anyway. Is it a Dom thing? Better cardio workout?

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10 points

Straight Pillow Princesses exist lol

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8 points

I’ve always heard them referred to as starfish

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10 points

Yeah it comes from not having a default script to follow. A pillow princess is a woman, usually femme, who exclusively fills the receptive role in sex with women.

As the old saying goes: it’s not penises we aren’t attracted to but the dicks they tend to be attached to. Less hostly said though, it’s that the sensation feels good, and it’s completely unrelated to men. In fact I usually forget that straight people don’t tend to see them as unrelated to men as we often do.

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5 points

The concept of the dildo makes perfect sense. I even buy the premise that a cock shaped fake cock would feel good given the original design specs of Mk.1 Human Vagangus. It’s just that thrusting from the hips is hard work, and while it’s a fantastic butt and ab workout, if i could get the same pleasure from a hand mounted penis, I would be constantly dehydrated. Is it more of an emotional or connection thing than a pragmatic choice?

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31 points
*

A lesbian couple on Twitch got asked who the top and who the bottom was. They said they switched.

No idea what that means mechanically.

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71 points

Probably like a Nintendo Switch

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18 points

No, at that time they didn’t have a Nintendo Switch yet. A PS5 for Baldur’s Gate 3 was their first console.

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2 points

Is that the one where you slide the joycons in and out trying to get the console to recognize and assign the joycons?

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2 points

And there’s an affable Miyamoto head smiling down on them like mufasa

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