Oh it’s you! I remember your name from reddit. Used to spend some time on the femboy subreddit. Cool style you got there.
I’ve been talking a lot in therapy recently about how “passing” is becoming a moot concept. That used to be the goal of transition back in my day (2000’s) but nowadays people are just free to pursue whatever their ideal self is regardless of what society deems as “passing”. I struggled with this concept for a long time - I thought, “but what if the people around me know I’m Trans?” and he has been challenging me to question “Why would it matter?”. Sure there’s the obvious concerns of bigotry and violence, but in a safe space such as work or friendship, does it really make a difference?
The times that I can slip into that mindset of not caring whether I pass are the most free I’ve felt in decades. I hope all my transbros and sisters can achieve that.
As long as work is a safe space, it’s moot indeed. However, since work is tied to food and shelter in this absolute fucking bullshit hellscape boring-ass dystopia, being trans can fuck people up out of house and food.
Sorry, let my opinions get the better of me for a moment.
Nah that’s absolutely valid. I feel lucky to be in a workplace with a union, a gay CEO, and a prominent LGBTQ club that ensures every employee has what they need to succeed. Earlier this year I pointed out that the complimentary gym doesn’t have gender neutral showers and within a week met with the head of the legal dept and head of facilities to figure out how to implement one.
I’m delighted to read you consider work to be a safe place. I hope that is the norm for everyone.
I imagine for most it’s not true though.
looks friend shaped to me.
srs 10/10, you look great ^^
My dad messaged me to say “you look sad.” Nope, not in these clothes, but there’s certain facial expressions that are part of the aesthetic, a fierce determination and stoicness.
I’d say “self determined”, “sad” didn’t even cross my mind.
my dad doesn’t get it either 😂
Self-determined what we gotta look like when we dress to slay literal gods. It’s what gives us the sheer moxie to make the clothes work.
i like your funky glasses :D
Looking great! Genuine cis question, when I come across fabulous looking trans people, I get really conflicted, I want to look and admire and wonder and praise, but I’m nervous that they’d really just like to blend in and not be ogled. I guess I often end up “staunchly not looking”. What’d you prefer if it was you?
I mean, I’m not out here wearing a t-shirt and jeans for compliments; I’m out here looking like a Final Fantasy protagonist cause it makes me feel good. Also cause I want other queer people to notice too.
That said, my wardrobe goes from naked, through one single pair of pajamas, to a vast and fantastic wardrobe of no pants whatsoever and insane outfits.
not op, but personally im never opposed so somebody complimenting me as long as it comes across as a genuine compliment (ex: i like your style/outfit/vibe) and not somebody just trying to hit on me or something.
(edit: lol actually i love to be hit on im a slut but shhhhhh)
I’m ace and sex-repulsed, so I don’t much appreciate getting hit on, but I mostly just hope I get compliments from other cool queers (which usually happens; it’s just cishets with their razor sharp focus and katalepsis-esque inability to see).
I think it’s important how it comes across, like when you’re complimenting cis people. So, context and what it is that you’re complimenting is what I would pay attention to.
That being said, I love getting compliments haha.
Before I was on hormones and maybe in the first 6 - 8 months on HRT, I had so many usually cis, white, liberal women (one time a cis white liberal dude) come up to me and compliment my dress / skirt / whatever. I take it as a sign I’m passing more that nobody does that anymore, lol.
