Be rich. Makes everything so much easier.
If you want something, ask for it. A raise? A date ? Help? Advice? Wanna do something else in your company? Need a sport buddy?
90% of times the reason one doesn’t get what they want is because they don’t ask.
I asked and got all the above… Well the date not on first try 😅
As a person who manages people, I cannot fight for your raise if YOU don’t fight for your raise.
I cannot tell you how many times where something like this happens. I tell my higher ups, “Sarah should get promoted and increase her salary” and then my bosses go up to Sarah and she responds all limpdick like, “I like my job and I’m happy.”
God damn it Sarah! Flex a little. Talk about how you see a opening you want. Stop being a keyboard warrior on Work Reform and actually SAY IT OUT LOUD. Share your wins! Brag about your value to the company. Demand your worth to MY BOSSES TOO.
It’s not a single person who makes these decisions. It’s multiple people.
Nobody is going to hand you shit if you’re timid about it.
Listen, don’t interrupt a conversation with stuff about you. Take the time to listen to them and ask questions, it goes a long way.
I’ve started to have such a massive problem around this one lately. I’m a good, maybe even great listener, and when I’m with another good listener, some real nice and deep conversations emerge, which I really treasure.
The problem is that the amount of other good listeners around me has shrunk to nearly no one, and I feel myself completely squeezed out of every conversation I engage in. Even a one-on-one dialogue can turn into a monologue where I’m not able to fit in more than a syllable here and there.
It’s really deteriorating my self esteem and level of happiness. Really feels like not even my closest friends and family give a shit about any part of my life or my person.
Just the same used to happen to me. Then I started to take charge of my life.
I learn to say no. I throw away people making only noises. I cut all the craps from my life. Alone and contented, I am much better than my past. And when i do find good listeners, there is some significant talk.
You also need to make some short witty satirical comments in between, to shake them, like Mark Twain’s.
I have a lot of trouble with this, I guess issues with egocentrism. For me, listening is trying to understand their perspective, and picturing how I would see things from where they are standing very often wraps around to finding an experience that I’ve had, or things that I understand, that are analogous. Those things help me get a better grip on what this person is saying. I haven’t really found a way around this, when I really try to not inject my own anecdotes I end up not really contributing much substance and often not following as well, and I feel like a much worse listener because of that.
As I’ve grown older I’ve realized that I’ve always had some trouble with auditory processing in general, so interjecting is a way I can slow down the conversation before I get lost and make sure I’m still on track.
Budget. Don’t need to be fancy. But build a view on the things that you’ll need to pay for over the year (Christmas, birthdays, holidays, car service, boiler service etc) and actually put money aside every month to pay for those things. Nothing beats the adult feeling of “yes, I’ll just pay for this thing here from this envelope and done”.
You can say no: to volunteer work, to events you don’t want to go to, to doing favors to people. The power of no is amazing
Avoid subscription services. You may pay more short term, but you won’t have to remember to cancel anything
This, the only monthly subscription I have is internet plan from my cellular provider (15GB for $5 at 10mbps). Zero regrets
Any cheaper showoffs are welcomed :)
PS: I don’t get why people subscribe to music services. I mean, you could just download your favorites and listen locally…
Sure, I could, and would like to own my copies. It’s just that would be a lot of work and money with the experience ultimately being worse.
Build up a routine of scheduled exercise. It’s amazing when you get deep into a job how little time you have, and it’s easy to put exercise to the wayside. Make it part of your schedule when it’s flexible, and then hold it when it becomes difficult. Exercise has massive outside benefits to overall health mood etc
Use a virtual credit card when signing up for subscription services. Set the recurring amount at just enough to cover the trial amount, and then once the subscription fee goes up it’ll notify you if you wish to continue paying for it. You can increase the limit if you want to keep the service, or just let the card decline until the service is cancelled. Most credit cards have virtual cards as an option, but I also use app.paywithextend.com
cook for yourself at least once a week. Not only is it a good skill to keep polished, you get great control over what you’re actually eating. Keeps you grounded to society, the cost of primary prices, and you can compare kitchen costs versus restaurant cost easily. It keeps you involved in society.
Nice to hear it not framed around health only, for once. From most advice it is seemingly impossible to live a healthy life if you dont cook yourself six days a week. Which seems ridicilous. Particularly for one who doesnt enjoy cooking (even though I do know how to cook decent meals).
Wish there was restaurants around here that was more like mess halls, priced at a level everyone could afford to eat at every day, made from healthy local ingredients, shared tables, no attempt at “mood” or theme, no waiters, you get whats served today and no alternatives except for those with particual dietary needs. I ate at the local poor-house once and it was almost what I would have wanted if they just got rid of the preacher and added a payment terminal. I heard those kinda eateries were common back around the early 1900. Why we at some point decided that everyone should mostly cook their own meals, or buy over-salted pre-made meals, and that restaurants should either be a luxury and involve a lot of waiting for a table and a waiter and the meal and the oversized bill and the waiter again to pay, or be fastfood so unbalanced that nobody should really eat it daily.
If you like Indian, there are places that serve Thali lunch or sign up for thali delivery. it is a prescribed meal with some flexible choices but basically slap down $10 and you get a metal tray with 3 curries, soup, rice and bread. Everyone has the same tray, like you see in prison shows
From most advice it is seemingly impossible to live a healthy life if you dont cook yourself six days a week
For health reasons I am on a diet that has minimal carbohydrates, almost zero. And no seed oils.
For my health journey, it is impossible to eat at a restaurant healthily. even if I order straight meat, many restaurants will cook it in seed oil, so I can never be sure. I.e. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8w8LKwOeO0
My only option is basically a salad. Which is fine, but not sustainable.
A helpful “rule” I set for myself to encourage myself to cook more was to allow myself to indulge if it was a proper, homecooked meal. Stuff like splurging on fancied ingredients (I’m fond of salmon), or having an extra cheesy lasagne. It was a useful carrot to dangle in front of myself, and a useful stepping stone to better habits. I also would sometimes cook for friends, like informal dinner parties (I always found it easier to cook for 4 than for 1)
On the cost side of things, even my fancier meals were still cheaper than takeout. Plus it’s easier to eat healthier if you’re already cooking for yourself often (and I even broke that down into smaller chunks too — I first focussed on adding more veg and general nutrition, then I reduced the proportion of healthy stuff)
