I admit I do love it when Trump gets trolled.
(Weirdly, the post title didn’t match the headline in the actual link, but the version Lemmy let me click on to make the title works better anyway.)
He will not feel any pressure to release his. He won’t do it. Everyone knows he won’t.
This right here is the problem, why he gets favorable treatment by the media, why he’s the Republican figurehead. He’s “fun to watch”.
Here’s what will happen: Harris will release her clean bill of health, he’ll deny their veracity, he may then make an unsubstantiated boast about his own health, he may then also call into question the qualifications of Harris’ doctor, he may then close with some sort of jingoistic non sequitur, or some nugget of misogyny. He will do these things in an almost robotically simplified way, that is at once instantly digestible and yet difficult to directly quote without editing. If anything he says proves the least bit problematic, Steven Cheung will claim that this editing proves malicious intent by the media, and that Trump was unfairly taken out of context. Meanwhile his thralls will either ignore the whole interval, or accept Cheung’s version of events and redouble their support of a man who is not only unqualified, but it’s actively a national liability. This will register surprise, shock, anger, any number of strong emotions, and viewership/readership will keep coming back, generating impressions and ad revenue, desperate for the new episode, to see what happens next, as if it were a show on HBO and not real life.
He’s “fun to watch” when he’s being a dipshit. Not when he’s being a Nazi.
But I would like to borrow your crystal ball for next week’s Lotto numbers please.
But how little his fans care that he’s full of bullshit will be terrifying to watch.
“As the healthiest person… as the healthiest American… there is no one healthier than me… as the healthiest, there is no need to release these… my medical records are stellar… so perfect. I’m great. These records are so great, there you have it. I’m perfectly… yes… perfectly healthy.” - Trump
Well, I tried. I feel that it lacks some attacks to their opponent, but I can’t dumb myself down enough to do more than that.
Here I’ll help
“The best records… great memory… the best… doctors claim to not have seen a memory like mine… beyond measure… they can’t even measure it ladies and gentlemen… even better than my opponent Sleepy Joe… I defeated Joe in 2020… complete landslide… I’ll beat him in 2024.”
still too coherent
“You know they asked me to— my medical records… they asked for them. The medical records. Can you believe this? The doctors, and believe me, I know doctors — they used to have the cures, were allowed to, you know, they just drank it. You could, any street corner, with malt, just go in. Hello Bob, you know. Beautiful. Believe me, they’d say Mr President, Sir, Mr President, you have the best blood pressure. So strong, beautiful, Mr President but we’ve been piled on with Iran. They don’t allow the helicopters any more, and the coats? You can’t. Any day, they said, any day you can have it for free, and I was smart, I got the 5 cents back. That’s how they get you. But with Iran. So now the doctors say there’s no need to have blood pressure any more. They said they never need to check again. And that’s why you can’t any more. Which is good. You know, not the Iran thing, that’s sad.”
These guys are all “lets release our medical records!” and they’re all like “lets make a list of who’s children we need to murder if they won’t find some extra votes for us” but also like “let’s get some christians to go to the capital and pray for lord and saviour trump to save everyone from the evil tyranny of Kamala”.
Trump will just call it fake news and then say his doctors said he is the best health anyone has ever seen
And they’ll believe it because it’s a cult
The FDA can’t believe what they’re seeing. They say mister President, we’ve never seen anything as great as your health all over. We need to study this to help America!
Ugh I’m afraid I’d catch something from Trump’s medical records.
You’ll be okay. He told Howard Stern that surviving the 70s without an STD was his “personal Vietnam” (so he didn’t need to actually go there) and also, as the owner of a chiweenie*, I can tell you that (thankfully) stupid is not contagious.
*The parts of that page that says they’re intelligent and easy to train are lies.
Then again, he submitted a letter from ‘his doctor’ in 2016 that said he tested positive for everything, so it may be best to steer clear.
stupid may not spread across species very easily, but it is highly contagious between humans.
And dogs. Stupid humans make their regular dogs stupid too. (Some dogs aren’t blessed with much of that clever wild brain to begin with, I know. I like chocolate labs anyway.)
Would they settle for a letter from a weirdo saying he’s the bigliest, healthliest man to ever president?
That’s sort of what he did while president. But Trump’s pill slinger, who was likely Trump’s contact to the Oath Keepers, got himself elected to Congress. And boy has he been a shitbag ever since. Not that he wasn’t a shitbag before as well.
But sure, there’s probably another Doctor Nick level jackass out there who will vouch for Trump.
The first letter while he was running was written by a weirdo hippy looking guy who has died since if I recall correctly. But yes, he’ll get another flunkey to write something I’m sure. (If he does anything, this time he seems to know nobody voting for him cares about anything.)
