13 points

I would be mad that everyone ELSE got a balloon and not me.

Then I’d be mad that I’m 41, and mad about a balloon.

Then I’d be mad at realizing I probably have anger management issues.

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9 points

Reminds me of this one:

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4 points

Too real

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4 points

That tracks.

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2 points

I don’t have to ask. I just assume whoever I’m talking to hates me.

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2 points

*I* do not, and if there’s one, then surely there’s more like me? :-P

Moreover, I think it’s impressive that you have dedicated so much of your efforts to improving people’s experiences here on the Fediverse. Even if people disagree with you on some point - which for myself I am aware of nothing but even if there were - that would still be true. You probably don’t get thanked often, so I offer it, and I hope that you will accept.

But also, I hope that you find a way to show kindness to yourself too:-). Our families may have royally fucked us up for life, but we can do different, for ourselves! Or at least, I very much (desperately) hope that can be true.

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2 points

Get out of my head!

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2 points

Oh man, some written phrases you can just hear!

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5 points

I’ll cut my balloon in half and share it with you ❤️

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2 points
*

A modern day Solomon

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5 points

You sound like you’re less Pig and more Rat.

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3 points

I mean…yes? That does seem like a reasonable solution to a non-problem. The real problem is the group of people who think they have a need and a right to control everybody else.

It’s not a new concept. People trying to control other people is a tale as old as time. I maybe agree with the rat, but I think the solution to the problem may be the Everette True way.

If you’ve never heard of Everette True, he’s a comic strip character from 100 years ago.

His comics all follow a very simple formula.

Panel 1 Everette incures a problem or issue

Then…

Panel 2 Everette beats the shit out of everybody.

Works for me! People want to ban books? Punch them! Or hit them in the head with a book! These are life lessions we need to teach our children!

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1 point

You are talking to the right person since I’m a huge fan of classic comics. I do know The Outbursts of Everett True, but my favorite one is one of the few where he doesn’t lose his temper:

Coincidentally, even though I’ve known about this for years, this specific strip and the comic as a whole came back into my consciousness a few days ago when I saw it posted elsewhere.

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1 point

My daughter had to give a guy in Walmart a sticker once, cause he “looked sad.”

We saw him elsewhere in the store about 10 min later, he still had a purple stegosaurus on his forehead and didn’t look sad anymore.

I’m sorry you didn’t get a balloon, let me find you a sticker…

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9 points

Mostly unrelated, but here’s one of my favorites (I had this on a mug but I broke it :/ ):

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5 points

Thanks, Stephen Pastis. I needed that.

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