73 points

My mom would put on some thick clothes, and then put on a set of overalls, and flannel shirt that were 10 sizes too big OVER her clothes. And in between the two she’d stuff the overalls and flannel shirt with hay. Then she’d wear this burlap facemask over her head to look even more like a scarecrow.

Then she’d sit on the porch, with the bowl of candy on table next to her. They would have to walk past my mom to get to the bowl. She would sit perfectly still.

My sisters would tell trick or treaters to just take 1 candy from the bowl, or bad things would happen.

If a kid took just 1 candy? Nothing happened. If a kid got greedy? She’d jump out of her chair, grab the kid, and lift him up by the wrists while going BLLLAAAHHHRRGGHGHGHGH!!! WHY’D YOU TAKE MORE CANDY???

SOOOOOOOOOOO many kids would cry. A few peed themselves. Lots of parents even screamed, which I’m sure added to the horror to the kids that even THEIR mom was screaming afraid.

But I bet they never took more than 1 candy.

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22 points

This is awesome, your mom sounds cool as hell. I also expect that sadly, today she’d get the cops called on her

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5 points

I mean it was the cop on my street who did it so I’m pretty sure they’d find it funny

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5 points

I thought this story was going towards her standing in a field and scaring birds brave enough to land near a scarecrow.

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3 points

That’s still far more innocent than where my mind was heading

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2 points

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

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4 points

I vote for this guy’s mom

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16 points

That’s great. Here’s another funny take on the concept by Natural Habitat Shorts

https://youtube.com/shorts/_brza_A_qEk

And I like how they put actual factoids in the titles.

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2 points

That was pretty good!

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8 points

Thanks for the laugh!

I really needed that right now.

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7 points

Just because I feel the need to unload this- I was in Menard’s today (I did, in fact, save big money) and they were selling a THIRTY-FOOT inflatable Frankenstein’s monster. Not even a scary-looking one, a cartoonish one.

I question anyone who would buy such a thing.

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10 points

Why? That sounds cool as shit, AND you get 11% rebate!

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1 point

A scary one would be cool. This was a goofy cartoon one like you’d see on a kid’s show.

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2 points

Nah, this one is totally the deal solely for being a cartoon one.

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5 points

Oh this is going straight in !crows@lemmy.ml

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