Slightly. Not in a terrible, life-altering kind of way, but just enough to make me think, “Oh, that’s what that’s like.”

I live in condo building and the average resident here is very old, very religious, and very conservative. No joke, several Lyft drivers have asked me, “So, is this a retirement home? I always thought this was a retirement home.” When I moved in as a 26 year old guy with long hair and a ponytail, I did not fit the vibe.

I was changing my bicycle tire in the parking garage and a woman stormed up to me, absolutely convinced that I did not belong there. She said that I needed to be a resident to be in there (so, assuming I wasn’t one), then started grilling me about what unit I lived in, how long I’d been there, etc. She must have thought I was stealing the bike, but taking a few minutes to change the tire first; you know, as one does.

It was an irritating but short exchange, and she left quickly. But it still put me in a mood for like half an hour afterwards. And it got me thinking: if you’re a minority, you probably get that all the time. Like, you don’t even have time to cool down from the last exchange before someone does it to you again.

I’m Hispanic, used to live in a red part of NY. Have been profiled by cops many, many, many times.

One time the cops gave me FIVE tickets for driving without insurance, while they held my active insurance in their hands. I lost sooo many days of work and almost lost my license fighting that shit.

Another time they pulled me over and spent 20 minutes on the side of the road trying to interrogate me to give me a DUI. I was perfectly sober and was coming home from a long trip with my dog. They also insinuated that my dog was dangerous over the radio (shiba inu, she was curled up asleep)

My brother and I got randomly selected for extra screening before getting on the plane. The entire line of random people are not white, what are the odds?

I’m black. Been judged and profiled my whole life.

I look really young. Like I’m 40 but routinely pass for early 20s or even late teens if I do my makeup with that aim.

I get carded buying alcohol a lot. I hated it until I was about 27, and it really started to make me feel great! Especially once my gray hair started growing in (I dye it regularly so nobody really sees them, but I know they’re there). If all you’re trying to do is guess how old I am from how I look, I will love your answer.

But people often judge my experience or expertise as if I am only as old as I look when I am really twice that age. I hate when people assume I’m the office assistant or new hire when I’m the Assistant Director. I had physical therapy for several months due to a chronic shoulder injury, and the old ladies there loved to tell (not ask) me that physical therapy must be so easy for me as if my joints aren’t fucked and my pain and effort aren’t real. Still pisses me off so much.

And don’t get me started on the creepy old guys who see legal jail bait…eugh.