I mean, I don’t think we should look to the past for mental stability. Alcoholism, violence, and spousal/domestic abuse are all examples of things that were way more common and borderline-accepted back then. I’d rather someone’s reaction to stress be a panic attack rather than beating their children.
I think it’s more about acknowledging that a lot of people are hyperbolic so they can be perceived as a victim. Anxiety is a real thing but some people act like it’s the peak of human suffrage for attention, and that is worthy of laughing at, not the anxiety itself
Suffrage is one of those English language-internal false friends - you could easily confuse it with a personalised state of suffering, especially if English isn’t your first language (my bigger anxieties around this is finding out a word I used extensively has a different meaning than I thought)…
internet discourse is so attention-seeking, contentious and unempathetic that I feel like it’s fostered a culture where people expressing hurt are routinely interrogated and doubted just in case they’re seeking undeserved attention. (because some people do!)
so, people are caught between a rock and a hard place. They can be honest about what burdens them in a way that leaves room for critique, and take the emotional damage that comes from the interrogation of their experiences. or they find extreme, bulletproof-sounding, “nobody could be ok under these circumstances” ways of putting their problems that aren’t in line with reality.
The former is honest but puts you at emotional risk when you’re already vulnerable. The latter is inauthentic but does grant the solidarity and support they’re seeking in the first place. I can’t really blame the people who pick door #2, especially when this decision is conditioned over long periods of social media use. It’s also in line with catastrophization, a common distortion many of us experience already.
notably, this has always been a common problem with how PTSD is understood, specifically complex trauma. many people discount their own trauma because it’s not the typical “got my limb blown off” image of trauma and they’ll occasionally be attacked for claiming they are traumatized. So they find more extreme ways to put their trauma that do get them the support they’re seeking. (and need!)
I don’t know what the solution to any of this is but I do feel it comes from a real place and I put the blame more on social media than the individuals, despite how annoyed I can get with people when I see it.
Right, and their unresolved ptsd lead to them not being the best parents which was part of a cycle that led to you.
That kind of stuff always reminds me of an episode from a show about rich people. They showed a rich mother organizing a birthday party for her toddler that was ridiculously fancy and having a complete meltdown because some napkins were another shade of pink. That’s the worst that life has ever given her, a different shade of napkins.
My sister in law had a meltdown last thanksgiving that included screaming at her husband, and storming off to her bathroom to spend the rest of the day (up until food, and then she demanded someone bring her a specific selection on a plate) in a jacuzzi tub. The whole house reverberate when it’s on, it’s quite annoying.
The absolutely soul-crushing, terrible, impossibly bad thing that happened?
Her husband grabbed the wrong shade of blue curtains from the closet, and she had to wait an extra 90 seconds to put them up. Legitimately don’t understand how he’s stayed married to her for 15 years. Apparently she’s always been like this to him over the smallest bullshit.
Have you ever interacted with a toddler in real life? They freak the fuck out about weird shit. That’s just what they do. They’re insane. Doesn’t mean they’re spoiled brats. Just means they’re normal toddlers…
Their government made sure to keep those men loaded up on cigarettes and booze because it was the only way to keep those soldiers fighting. Nicotine is a hell of a drug
Can confirm, grandpa was a WW2 vet (+ a few of the postcolonial wars that followed). He used to say that soldiers morale hinges on wine and cigarettes.
Also he died of lung cancer after surviving all that shit, including being a POW for 4+ years in extremely shitty conditions in Cambodia
Shaming addicts for going into withdrawal isn’t much different from shaming vets having ptsd
Well, we’re doing both so it’s okay.
/s
It IS really hard to understand what someone is going through if you’ve never been in that position yourself, and even then it’s hard.
On the other hand: You never know when to attribute a behavior from someone to malice. And it’s also very easy to stop working on oneself when not pressured in doing so, especially for addicts.
So yeah, a bit of banter is necessary.
Cigarette/vape addiction isn’t real. Just stop smoking. Put the vape down. Congratulations. You’re clean.
