Tech worker here. I am this 🤏 fucking close to dragging every god damn thing designed to pass an electron out to the driveway and fucking hack it to bits with an axe (that I use for hewing and preparing lumber, so I can live in the wilderness when technology wins).

Haha, “hack to bits” haha. No pun intended.

I program for a living.

I can’t stand all the smart shit people talk about. I hate installing software updates. I hate having to download an app just to use some shitty hardware. I hate needing an internet connection to use something. I hate having to charge yet another device.

I really hate software. I try to avoid it as much as possible.

I usually keep a stuffed animal near my Brother printer

I’m paranoid at work because that’s my job.

At home, I’m off the clock and my digital hygiene and organization is atrocious.

In more civilized countries, we keep a sledgehammer read to bash the printer with, rather than a gun.