180 points

Kinda a dick move by the family actually.

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-172 points

Jeez, girl is crying and having a hard time, someone makes a joke to cheer her up. You call that a dick move?

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105 points

There are ways to cheer someone up without bullying someone else

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-67 points

I literally donā€™t know of a single way to do that

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67 points

I didnt think this needed to be said but making a joke at a bystanders expense, particularly a hurtful personal attack, is not ok.
Sure jokes are give and take with some good natured ribbing but this strays more into carless, or potentially malicious territory.

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-65 points

Nah, it is good natured ribbing 100%. People who are alone for 28 years in a row either are completely inept at human interaction or donā€™t want a partner / arenā€™t ready for one. The first case is incredibly rare, in the second case you probably are secure enough in it to laugh with them. And at the end of the day - it worked to get the cousing to start laughing and stop thinking about how hurt they are.

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64 points

I donā€™t understand why everyone calls me a monster. I just kicked those puppies to cheer a crying girl up.

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-16 points

anons are far from puppies. anons should probably be kicked regularly on general principle.

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107 points

Fuck the single cousin? I donā€™t see the problem

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66 points

This is the 4chan solution

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13 points

This is the 4chan origin story.

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22 points

Itā€™s not even illegal everywhere

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2 points

Yeah, itā€™s legal in my state, you just have to be in your 50s and one of you needs to be sterile.

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Roll tide

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1 point
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1 point

They had 10 children, 7 of whom survived to adulthood.

Interesting that the wiki article has that mentioned so high up, right after the cousins thing

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96 points
*

Sounds like a great family

Jokes aside, if you ever feel like killing yourself, donā€™t. Donā€™t let them win.

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51 points

I wonder why Anon has issues finding love, with such a great upbringing

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16 points

Yeah, I find straight up abandoning your shit family is a not completely bad idea.

Youā€™d be surprised at the jobs out there that simply let you get on a train or a boat and simply leave it all behind if you want to.

Just please then donā€™t jump off the back of my boat. The point is that it might be lonelier than guaranteed family but ocean is a bad way to go.

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6 points

if you ever feel like killing yourself, donā€™t

Oh definitely donā€™t kill yourself, thereā€™s absolutely no future in it.

My cousin killed himself and I do not think it helped at all.

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2 points

Yea, just put that energy into murdering your aunt.

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1 point

But make it look like your cousin did it.

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43 points

someone to call my own

Odd choice of words, is this a common way to refer to a significant other?

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94 points

Everything is possessive. My wife, my husband, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my significant other, etc. ā€œSomeone to call my ownā€ isnā€™t really strange; itā€™s not super common, but definitely not that uncommon, either.

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52 points

itā€™s not super common

Iā€™m 40 years old. This was pretty common to hear when I was a kid. But as the younger generations grow up, the language changes, along with the public mindset. Possessive phrases like this used to be considered romantic because it meant you were desired by someone. In todayā€™s culture, itā€™s creepy because it sounds more like someone sees you as a thing to own.

Itā€™s actually been a long time since I heard someone use this particular phrase.

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16 points
*

Iā€™ve always understood it as going both ways. Someone you call your own, they also get to have you as their own. Iā€™m all yours, and youā€™re all mine. Iā€™ve viewed it as a way of expressing desire and commitment.

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54 points
*

Thereā€™s such a reference in a well-known song, Mr. Sandman

Sandman, Iā€™m so alone

Donā€™t have nobody to call my own

Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

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9 points

Or another classic, by none other than Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon ā€œMr. Lonelyā€ Thiam

Iā€™m so lonely (so lonely)

Iā€™m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

For my own (to call my own girl)

I am so lonely

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28 points

Very common.

A lot of people, Iā€™d even hazard to say the majority, want mutual possession to some degree. Not necessarily ownership, as in all freedom removed, but the idea that each person is devoted to the other, to the exclusion of any outsiders in some cases, but at least as a primary priority except for children being higher.

Thereā€™s been a ton of debate over the years, tons of money thrown at research into human bonding and relationships, trying to figure out exactly what ā€œnormalā€ or ā€œnaturalā€ is for us. But, even among people that arenā€™t monogamous, thereā€™s some that use, and find comfort in, the idea of belonging to each other, itā€™s just that the non monogamous folks tend to have a broader range of what that means.

Itā€™s similar to (or maybe the same as) belonging somewhere. You belong at home, itā€™s the place where you are supposed to be, itā€™s the default state. It might not be home for everyone, obviously, but the sense of having something that is akin to that feeling of coming home, of belonging, thatā€™s a powerful thing.

As an example of non romantic belonging, to illustrate what I mean, I used to bounce at a drag club. For a lot of the gay kids that came there, that club was the one place they could really, truly be themselves. I literally canā€™t count how many times someone said that it was the closest theyā€™d ever had to a real home, a real family, and many of them said the only place they ever felt like they belonged.

I know, for myself, no matter how much pain Iā€™m in, what ugliness is trying to drag me down in my head, the certainty that my wife loves me, and is there for me, it keeps my head above water. Iā€™m herā€™s, sheā€™s mine, in every way that matters. We belong to each other. Thatā€™s despite the fact that weā€™re both free to end the relationship if we so choose. Thereā€™s no slavery in belonging to and with someone.

Shit, now Iā€™m crying lol.

But maybe thatā€™s as good an example as anything else. That feeling? That sense of comfort and surety, of knowing that thereā€™s someone right there that is such a deep part of yourself that just thinking about the fact is enough to bring tears of joy, thatā€™s what itā€™s about.

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24 points

Itā€™s not uncommon. My significant other has the same vague possessive connotations.

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6 points

My significant other has the same vague possessive connotations

I donā€™t think it does at all. In fact I think just the opposite. Itā€™s saying theyā€™re an ā€œotherā€ person who is ā€œsignificantā€ to you. Itā€™s quite sweet, actually, IMO.

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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6 points

Is its a pretty common phrase

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2 points
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Removed by mod
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28 points

Or kill your aunt instead?

J/K scary moderators.

. . . or am I?!?

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4 points

Potentially get him!!

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