the creature washed up on a beach near Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, she said: “[He] ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
We might need a different giphy to express further WTF-iness surprise for the subsequent matter of whale blood oozing in through the car windows during the five-hour drive. But I’m not good at picking out memes.
In an alternate reality, not too different from ours, this guy is gonna be the next president.
To be fair, I’m not convinced beheading a whale is lots worse than what our ex president is guilty of.
That is fair lol.
That said if we’re talking less about how awful he is, and more about how absurd his awfulness is, then nothing screams “divorced from the reality of normal people” quite like this quote from his own daughter:
He ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.
If even a little of this were true….<insert the words I don’t have to describe my feelings here>
Well the dude did used to just hang out in a rotting cattle graveyard and do shit tons of acid by himself all the time. This doesn’t sound that far fetched to me.
I know the latest thing to call Republicans is weird…but this dude is a whole 'nother level of fucking weird. What the actual fuck.
Beheads a whale, ate roadkill, and has a brain worm. True presidential material right here.
Oh, I almost forgot. He was a drug dealer, too!
I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s a fistful of felonies.
Like if you or I had done that, we’d still be in prison
