That is 100% me. I’ve had many friends tell me someone was into me but I’m usually oblivious. I never want anyone to feel awkward or intruded upon and basically never act on such opportunities. I would love to, but my mind is usually partitioned off on a half dozen other projects, and at least one big rabbit hole of a curiosity. I have the capacity to shift my attention, but it takes someone being quite forward or otherwise remarkable in ways beyond a casual encounter or simple looks to capture my attention in a way where I might take spontaneous initiative. Basically, every girl I encounter is like my sister on a platonic level unless I have a clear indication otherwise. All my long term relationships are from social encounters with friends of friends where over time I could tell there was clear chemistry. Just saying, if you’re a girl, being direct and forward is quite effective with some of us, especially the more quiet types.
I think the “oh, fuck, that was an invitation!” moment several minutes/hours after the fact is one of the most universal moments.
Lifetimes. Because I haven’t had it yet…
(ok maybe I would if I talked to women in the first place)
One time a girl invited me to sleep with her, and I looked at her filthy pillowcases and bullshitted my way into sleeping on her couch, after countering her insistence with the extreme option of “if you’re not gonna let me sleep on your couch, I’m going home.”
I thought she literally meant actual sleep, and what she wanted was sex.
I slept on her couch and she sobbed softly through a closed door.
I found out about a decade later, from a mutual friend, that girl had the biggest hots for me and was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me.
Well, she was stopped by my obliviousness.
I was ace and sex-repulsed even back then, so even if I had figured her out, I prolly would have had a small panic attack and tried to go home.
Yup. The first one I remember is a concert where I went to see the opener and didn’t much care for the main act. While I was on the floor during the opening act, I was next to a girl who seemed similarly enthused about that band. We definitely both noticed each other fangirling over this relatively unknown opening act. Then, afterward, I bumped into her on the balcony while the main act was playing, and she’s like “these guys kinda suck right? I think I’m gonna head out and get a drink at $nearby_bar”. And I totally missed the hint.
When I was 19, a girl told me at a party that I was the coolest guy in school. I was just flattered by the compliment and when I told my girlfriend about it later she said “Yeah she was totally hitting on you”.
I was like “Nah! Her? No way!”
Years later, I randomly thought about it and went “oh my god, she was hitting on me!”
“Payed” is a nautical term, ya limp cucklet
I know that this is a male pov but seriously that is also an L for the lady. Can’t be throwing hints and expect everyone to be Mr hint getter
Idk it’s not really a hint, that’s pretty direct. If I were her I’d assume I got rejected.
This is not direct at all though. Direct is “my shift is almost done, do you want to hang out later?”. Being direct means you do actually have to include saying what you want.
Yeah, even when you’re 99% sure the person is flirting with you, you gotta balance that with what might happen if you’re wrong.
Read the situation wrong and you could end up handcuffed on the sidewalk with pepper spray in your eyes.
Fuck that. If not being willing to take that risk means dying alone, I’ll choose the latter.
And what about from the woman’s perspective? Do you really want strange men making guesses about whether you’re flirting with them or not? Knowing exactly what could happen if the wrong guy gets the wrong idea and won’t take “no” for an answer?
I’m not trying to victim-blame or make excuses for anyone. But there’s nothing to win by playing these kinds of mind games, so what’s the fucking point?
In the context of a conversation about people who come in just before closing it could also just be taken as a hint that he is one of those people.
To be fair, it could have just as easily been:
“You know, my shift is almost over (so I really want to pack my shit and get out of here)” to which anon had a good response.