I think the âoh, fuck, that was an invitation!â moment several minutes/hours after the fact is one of the most universal moments.
Lifetimes. Because I havenât had it yetâŚ
(ok maybe I would if I talked to women in the first place)
One time a girl invited me to sleep with her, and I looked at her filthy pillowcases and bullshitted my way into sleeping on her couch, after countering her insistence with the extreme option of âif youâre not gonna let me sleep on your couch, Iâm going home.â
I thought she literally meant actual sleep, and what she wanted was sex.
I slept on her couch and she sobbed softly through a closed door.
I found out about a decade later, from a mutual friend, that girl had the biggest hots for me and was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me.
Well, she was stopped by my obliviousness.
I was ace and sex-repulsed even back then, so even if I had figured her out, I prolly would have had a small panic attack and tried to go home.
Yup. The first one I remember is a concert where I went to see the opener and didnât much care for the main act. While I was on the floor during the opening act, I was next to a girl who seemed similarly enthused about that band. We definitely both noticed each other fangirling over this relatively unknown opening act. Then, afterward, I bumped into her on the balcony while the main act was playing, and sheâs like âthese guys kinda suck right? I think Iâm gonna head out and get a drink at $nearby_barâ. And I totally missed the hint.
why canât they just add a âwanna join meâ to make it more clear lol
When I was 19, a girl told me at a party that I was the coolest guy in school. I was just flattered by the compliment and when I told my girlfriend about it later she said âYeah she was totally hitting on youâ.
I was like âNah! Her? No way!â
Years later, I randomly thought about it and went âoh my god, she was hitting on me!â
I know that this is a male pov but seriously that is also an L for the lady. Canât be throwing hints and expect everyone to be Mr hint getter
Idk itâs not really a hint, thatâs pretty direct. If I were her Iâd assume I got rejected.
This is not direct at all though. Direct is âmy shift is almost done, do you want to hang out later?â. Being direct means you do actually have to include saying what you want.
Yeah, even when youâre 99% sure the person is flirting with you, you gotta balance that with what might happen if youâre wrong.
Read the situation wrong and you could end up handcuffed on the sidewalk with pepper spray in your eyes.
Fuck that. If not being willing to take that risk means dying alone, Iâll choose the latter.
And what about from the womanâs perspective? Do you really want strange men making guesses about whether youâre flirting with them or not? Knowing exactly what could happen if the wrong guy gets the wrong idea and wonât take ânoâ for an answer?
Iâm not trying to victim-blame or make excuses for anyone. But thereâs nothing to win by playing these kinds of mind games, so whatâs the fucking point?
In the context of a conversation about people who come in just before closing it could also just be taken as a hint that he is one of those people.
To be fair, it could have just as easily been:
âYou know, my shift is almost over (so I really want to pack my shit and get out of here)â to which anon had a good response.
I have been specifically and repeatedly told women at work donât want flirting or any other interpersonal interactions. So that shit is shut completely off when in public.
And thatâs absolutely true! Until the one time itâs not, and then itâs your fault for not knowing.
TBF, I normally go by âoff limits unless they make an obvious moveâ.
Which the cashier definitely did. Of course, like the OP I wouldnât realize it till laterâŚ
But was it an obvious move, or did you read too much into the friendliness theyâre paid to show all customers?
Without being there itâs always a guess. But putting âYou knowâ at the front like that is pretty damn explicit. She wasnât just making a random comment. Thatâs like movie trope obvious.
There are always outliers though, she could of had a brain fart, or he could have said something to make her believe he felt she was working late.
Thatâs when you ask things plain and simple. One of my exes was the manager for a fast food joint and at the end of her shift, sitting at my table and kinda chatting away. At some point I simply asked her âso are we going back to your place to make sweet love after that, or what?â with my french accent on full blast. It had the desired effect of making things clear.
I wish I had had the balls to do that more often in my life!
That is 100% me. Iâve had many friends tell me someone was into me but Iâm usually oblivious. I never want anyone to feel awkward or intruded upon and basically never act on such opportunities. I would love to, but my mind is usually partitioned off on a half dozen other projects, and at least one big rabbit hole of a curiosity. I have the capacity to shift my attention, but it takes someone being quite forward or otherwise remarkable in ways beyond a casual encounter or simple looks to capture my attention in a way where I might take spontaneous initiative. Basically, every girl I encounter is like my sister on a platonic level unless I have a clear indication otherwise. All my long term relationships are from social encounters with friends of friends where over time I could tell there was clear chemistry. Just saying, if youâre a girl, being direct and forward is quite effective with some of us, especially the more quiet types.