9 points

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

— Cave Johnson

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2 points

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and then kneecap life while it’s distracted trying to figure out how the hell you did it

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3 points

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1 point

This guy knows where his towel is

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